Anime News Letter Season 4:
ANL Neo

Season 4, Issue 6

Anime News Letter
Season 4, Issue 6
5/09/03

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Inu Yasha/Seanma
Tea Wench/All Purpose Cat Girl/Asst. Editor/Webmaven: Pink
Lowly Reporter/Asst. Editor: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee/Kyusaku
Hyper Ninja: Yuffie/Kunimitsu
ANL Bounty Hunter: Iria
Card Game Expert/Monster Trainer/Hopeful Future Dictator: Joey/Daisuke/Ilpalazzo
Local Mazoku/Priest/Head Writer: Xellos Metallium

Dear loyal reader,
      It’s time for another issue of the ANL! With the recent surge of Jigglypuff of the Apocalypse, we only have to average two an issue to make our goal. Summer’s coming up soon, which means more ANL more frequently, as all of us college students are released upon the world to seek our fortunes. Recently, ANL staff has started debating what to do about the Anime Awards Night. There was a massive mix up on our part in the nominations (more then half didn’t actually get to nominate) so the staff is going to reach a decision on that by two issues from now. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Sephiroth “MY MUFFINS!” Jenova
Editor-in-chief

Kirby: Coming Right Back at Ya'
Review by Purin
Purin: ****   Sephy: **
      It's been a nightmare for the citizens of Dreamland. Monsters have been ravaging the countryside and eating their livestock. The citizens of Cappytown turn to their "King" Dedede for the problem. Dedede insists that he is not to blame, but if you ever touched a Kirby game you know he's lying. Dedede has enlisted the services of an internet company called Nightmare Enterprises, or NME.
      Enter the hero. Kirby soon crashes into the planet in a star shaped spaceship. There is only one tiny little problem... He's two hundred years old. "What, he's that old?" you might be asking. Well for this story 200 years is the equivalent of two. Kirby is way to young to face NME. Though, beggars can't be choosers...
      This is a surprising series in the category of voice acting and characterization. For instance, Dedede has a southern accent, and Meta Knight has a Hispanic accent (with a little flamenco introduction). This inspires the question "What the..." at first, but you get acclimatized quickly. Visually, it looks a little awkward, since some characters are cg, while other characters and elements (oh, let's say THE BACKGROUND) are done in traditional 2-D. Even though some of it's awkward, it's a cute action adventure romp.

Dark Cloud 2 (PS/2 video game)
Review by Purin
Purin: *****
      The small industrious town of Palm Brinks, not much has been going on. Excepting the fact that the circus has come! Yay! And to top it all off, a young lad by the name of Max has his hands on a ticket! But first, his day job: fixing machines for a friend of his father's. He falls asleep at the vacuum he's fixing, and nearly misses the show. In a hurried rush, he runs to the town square.
      As he's handing the ticket to a friendly clown, a little kid snatches it right out of his hand. After running him down, Max decides to be a nice guy and let him have the ticket. The kid says something really strange, and disappears, "like" magic. As it turns out, the ringleader is a real jerk, and is ready to kill Max for the shiny red stone. It also turns out, a bit later, that that kid who stole your ticket is actually a female magic user named Monica, and not just that, but a princess from a hundred years into the future (trust me, I couldn't make this kind of stuff up) who wants you to join her in defeating an evil villain by the name of Emperor Griffon.
      What is this Griffon's evil plan? Believe it or not, it's to alter time through destroying these things called origin points. What's an origin point? That's the basis of creation, such as a seed. If that seed is destroyed, there could be no tree. No matter now, but when your enemies are all in a hundred years from now, there's an effect.
      This game has a mostly customizable system for weaponry (you build on, modify, level up, etc..), and similar riding mech system. Also there's the Dark Cloud trademark SimCity rip-off world creation. There have also been improvements over that last game, as there should be. For one, to alleviate frustration, even though weapons break, they can be fixed (this apparently was a major problem in the first game). Also, this is one of the first games that has you to be able equip armor and actually see it! This is also followed by some eye-candy equipment for Monica and a silly uniform for Max.
      Between the WHP (Gauge for wear and tear on your weapons), HP, individual stats for your weapons, money, towns, special abilities for about fifty percent of the cast, photos, inventions, side quests, fishing, fixing distortions in the space-time continuum through golf, labyrinths of stages, and everything else Sony could throw at you... I'd suggest this to anyone who wants a good gripping RPG, or anyone who has more time than they can deal with.

Battle Square NEO
Sephy: *standing amongst an orchard of cherry blossoms in a black kimono with a fiery tiger on the back* Welcome to our Sakura Battle Ô03 were we’ll pit four priestesses against each other in two-on-two matches.
Yuffie: As the official Hyper Ninja of the ANL, I’ll be supplying traps and all sorts of fun for the fighters to deal with!
Xellos: *sipping tea under a tree while sharing a blanket with Iria* Ever notice we don’t do much around here?
Iria: I kill stuff. That’s my job and I like it.
Pink: *walks out with the envelopes and hands them to Sephiroth* Here you go! *smiles*
Sephy: *opens the first envelop* Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon versus Kikyo from Inu Yasha. ...who arranged this?

*in a secret headquarters...*
Gatomon: We’ll show them...
Mr. Referee: They have hurt Mr. Referee’s feelings too many times! The next Official Submission Robattle will be their last!
Archmage Shade: *looks a lot like Slayn from Record of Lodoss War* Yes. We will have our revenge.
Puff Father: Wigglytuff! Tuff wiggly!
Cyber Kitty: *hidden away with a sniper rifle* (What is the meaning of this? Another random plot device? Next thing we’ll know, Belldandy will be here along with Filia.) *teleports away*
Mr. Referee: With the beach ball traps, Sephiroth will be transformed into Inu Yasha and Kikyo will make his functions cease!

*back at the battle scene*
Mars: Mars Fire Ignite! *sends a fireball at Kikyo who swiftly dodges it*
Kikyo: It will take more than that to defeat me. *draws back a spiritual arrow and nails Sailor Mars to a tree, knocking her out cold*
Sephy: *sweat drop* Next battle...
Purin: Kikyo took Rei out in just one hit. That’s way too powerful.
Xellos: Who’s Rei?
Pink: The shrine maiden of that temple we went to last week.
Xellos: *looks shocked*
Pink: What?
Xellos: They just CAN’T be the same person!
Pink: She isn’t even wearing a mask!
Yuffie: Xellos-nii-san, do you really believe that?
Xellos: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Sephy: Next battle will be between Xellos and Urd. *thinks* Wait...
Urd: *materializes* Sounds like fun. *cracks her knuckles*
Xellos: *stands up and teleports over*
Pink: Ready? Heaven and Hell final set! Fight! *waves a flag*
Urd: Demons of the clouds, heed my beck and call! Grand Thunder! *focuses odd diagrams over her as clouds roll in and lightning shoots down at Xellos*
Xellos: *phases out and behind Urd* Giga Volt! *lighting strikes down and hits Urd*
Urd: You really think that will do anything? *spin kicks Xellos into a tree* Spirits of the forests! Bind my foe to prevent him from entering sub-dimensions! *odd green light shines on the mazoku*
Sephy: This should be interesting to watch.
Yuffie: Go! *thousands of shurinkin fly everywhere which Xellos and Urd easily deflect* Aww... Onii-san! They blocked them!
Sephy: *nods*
Xellos: *reaches limit break* Dark Beast! *transforms into a nightmarish black wolf with a thousand eyes all over its body*
Purin: *pulls out his pokedex* “Alucard- this vampire is known to exist on this world but sightings of him have been rare. It is now confirmed that Xellos is indeed Alucard. Unlike Sephy being Inu Yasha and a Ranma 1/2 rip-off, this actually makes sense.”

Sephy: You know a vampire’s a bad ass when it can be out in sunlight.
Alucard: *swallows Urd whole and reverts to Xellos*
Purin: “Nightmare Realm attack- this attack devours the opponent into the Shadow Realm until released. Being that a goddess was just swallowed, she should be fine by the next issue.”
Pink: Xellos wins!
Sephy: Final round of this screw up tournament! Kikyo versus Xellos! *turns to Yuffie* Yeah, the tournaments usually end up being something like this.
Kikyo: So, my next opponent is a demon posing as a priest. I shall see to the end of that.
Xellos: Actually, I could be both, you know.
Kikyo: *draws back an arrow to shoot*
Xellos: *smirks evilly*
Kikyo: *lets an arrow fly*
Xellos: *struggles to try to enter subspace and fails, thus getting nailed by the arrow*
Sephy: Looks like he forgot about the spell laid upon him. Shame that.
Xellos: *pulls the arrow out and looks annoyed*
Kikyo: *lets loose another five which all find their target and start sending out light from the wounds*
Xellos: This is not how the fight should go. Dark Beast! *shifts to demon dog form of Alucard* *growls in pain and tries to rip out the arrows with his teeth*
Kikyo: *focuses lots of chi into an arrow* Die, demon! *lets it fly to have it cut in half by a long katana*
Sephy: I’m going to intervene now. *sheathes Masamune*
Kikyo: How could you protect that monster?
Yuffie: Uh oh...
Pink: Hm? What’s wrong?
Yuffie: The bomb trap is about to go off... *watches her watch count down to zero*
Pink: *shocked expression*
Yuffie: Here goes! *beach balls fly everywhere and hit Sephy in the head (well, lots of other people, too) turning him into Inu Yasha*
Kikyo: Inu Yasha! I should have known you were here! *draws back another arrow*
Inu Yasha: Hey! Cool yourself down!
Kikyo: Die, Inu Yasha!
Iria: *stands up and throws a shield device to capture Kikyo inside a glass prison (she can still breathe, in case you were wondering)*
Inu Yasha: Hey, Iria, I could’ve handled that, you know!
Iria: *points her gun with the missile attachment on it at Inu Yasha* I wanted to do something pokemon related since I didn’t do much last issue. I’m going to train this girl until I either level her up into something really cool or find something better. *attaches rope to the shielded Kikyo and drags her off*
Inu Yasha: Well, this made no sense.

Yu-Gi-Oh Card Of The Week
Brought to you by Daisuke/Joey Wheeler
Effect Monster Card: Dark Ruler Ha Des
STATS-
Type: Fiend
Attribute: Dark
Stars: 6
Rarity: UR
ATK/DEF: 2450/2000
Effect: “As long as this card remains face-up on the field, negate the effects of Effect Monsters destroyed by Fiend-Type monsters on your side of the field in battle. This card cannot be Special Summoned from the Graveyard.”
I like this format. I think I’m gonna try and do all COTWs like this. Dark Ruler Ha Des is from the upcoming Legacy Of Darkness. Normally, I like the introduction of new boosters, but I’ve had little to no money to buy boosters, so I’m VERY behind with Labyrinth of Nightmares. Anyway, they had spoilers for LOD, so I thought I’d pick one for fun. Ha Des is gonna be my future addition to my deck, mainly since it is one of the few Fiends and Darks in the boosters. This booster is more about Dragons and Warrior types, but those cards are nothing to scoff at either, and trust me, next COTW, I am SO going over “Last Turn”. Talk about stealing a victory. Anyway, Ha Des can be a mean sucker in a good deck. First off, in general, I can see him taking the place of some Summoned Skulls. It has a higher DEF and is only 50 ATK lower. Plus, it is also one tribute. Now, I know EVERYONE has a friend who will take victories or will just get annoying with Effect and Flip Effect monsters. Kiss those worries goodbye. If Ha Des is on the field, their Cyber Jar, Man-Eater Bug, even Wall Of Illusion is null and void, as long as you attack w/ a Fiend. Ha Des is a Fiend. La Jinn is a Fiend. Summoned Skull is a Fiend. I mean, this card just works in Dark/Fiend decks. If you have one, put one in you goof. Now, the drawback is that it cannot be reborn. So, if your strategy has a lot of “discard big monster, reborn big monster” this card won’t help any. There are a few ways to bring it back. You can Return Of The Doomed it back to your hand, or you can Fiber Jar it. YES! ANOTHER JAR! AND THIS ONE IS WORSE THEN CYBER JAR! Thankfully, it’s an UR, so it’ll be a bit more difficult to get your hands on.
Rating: 7/10 Not for all decks but can wail some ass in the right ones.

Closing- ANL Secret HQ
Sephy: Hm. It almost seems like the matches today were rigged by an outside force.
Purin: What are you talking about? The Jigglypuff of the Apocalypse?
Pink: No! That’s a silly idea! The priests were selected randomly.
Joey: Hey, Sephy, look at dis new card I got today! Not even Yugi can compete with a card of this magnitude. Torrential Tribute is where it’s at.
Yuffie: I wonder... Xellos, what do you think?
Xellos: Sore wa... himitsu desu!
Yuffie: *twitches slightly and becomes a blur for a moment before turning away with a red orb*
Xellos: *bonks Yuffie on the head with his stave and takes the orb back* That belongs to me.
Iria: ... *is leaning against a wall* I’m going to go check something out. *grabs her gun and goes outside*
Sephy and Xellos: So will we. *rush off*

*in a white empty room devoid of anything except for one person*
Hello Kitty: I’m so lonely...
Sephy and Xellos: *bust in through the secret door* HELLO KITTY!!!
Hello Kitty: Um. Hello... *the two anti-heroes leave* Can you let me out yet?

*outside the HQ in an alleyway*
Iria: *loads a rocket on her gun*
???: My name is the Black Jig Mage. *is a jigglypuff wrapped up in bluish robes with a pointy straw hat*
??? #2: And I am the Red Jig Mage. *is a jigglypuff wearing a red outfit with a red hat with a plume in it* Flames of infinite recourse, flame up and destroy! Fire2! *ignites flames around Iria*
Iria: *jumps out of the flames and fires the rocket at Red Jig Mage, sending it flying into the side of a building in a huge explosion*
Black Jig Mage: Freeze her solid! Ice2! *sends shards of ice flying into Iria* Now! Haste! *trips and falls before casting the spell*
Iria: *tosses a grenade at Black Jig Mage*
Black Jig Mage: Huh? What’s this? *explodes in a brilliant flash and is left unconscious against the wall*
Red Jig Mage: Heavenly wings, descend and raise from the dead! Life! *Black Jig Mage stands back up as light shines upon him* Now, from this place let me flee! Warp! *fails for some odd reason*
Black Jig Mage: From this place let me flee! Warp! *disappears in a portal that closes almost as soon as it opens*
Iria: *fires her gun and nails the last remaining Jigglypuff, missing him entirely*
*green rays shoot down into the alley knocking over some trash cans*
Red Jig Mage: Time to go! Warp! *fails as a trash can rolls over on him*
Cyber Kitty: *jumps down and rolls the trash can off of the jigglypuff* Seems to be another one of the 57 JoA. I’m going to interrogate him. *picks him up and leaps up between the buildings to escape*
Iria: ... *wipes the sweat from her brow* I hate magic.
Xellos: *slipping a slushie* Don’t we all?
Iria: And why couldn’t you have been helpful during the fight?
Xellos: Sore wa...
Iria: INTO THE WALL! *throws out a whip and entangles Xellos and throws him into a wall*
Shampoo: Hiya... ANL Crew is violent.

Sephy: *sitting across from a table with Yuffie* Well, that wraps up another bizarre issue of the ANL!
Yuffie: Does this issue just exist for the sole purpose of being a plot device?
Purin: Jig jig!

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