Anime News Letter Season 4:
ANL Neo

Season 4, Issue 2

Anime News Letter
Season 4, Issue 2
1/28/03

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Inu Yasha/Seanma
Tea Wench/All Purpose Cat Girl/Webmaven: Pink
Lowly Reporter/Asst. Editor: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee
Article Writer: Gema Saotoby
Unlimited Goddess, 1st class/Cocoa Wench: Belldandy
Card Game Expert/Monster Trainer/Hopeful Future Dictator: Joey/Daisuke/Ilpalazzo
Local Mazoku/Priest: Xellos Metallium

Dear Reader,
      Another great issue of the ANL! Well, I was worried that we weren’t going to get an issue out tonight due to that nasty worm but here we are. Today we have more of the same- but different. Oh yeah. Belldandy went evil due to Seafoam Lab’s Evil Pills (TM). Something needs to be done about that jigglypuff...
Sincerely,
Sephiroth “MY MUFFINS!” Jenova

Series Preview: Noir
Written by Xellos
Xellos: *****
      Noir--the very name conjures up mystery. Who is this Noir? Is anyone safe if she's been called to assassinate them? Is it true that she is actually two? Where did she come from? Where will she strike next?
      Mirelle Boquet is an assassin. One of the best, by some accounts. When a dark-haired schoolgirl e-mails her, inviting her to take a trip into the past, she dismisses it at first....until hearing a hauntingly familiar melody. Suddenly thrust into a world where faceless minions keep attempting to kill her--and her new ally, who is very, VERY well-versed in the arts of death--Mirielle must find out what the hell's going on, and who this "Soldats" is that seems to be out to kill them.
      From the streets of Paris, to Japan, Hong-kong, Mirielle's home country of Corsica, and finally to a high hill area not charted on any maps, but with a rich history to it, Mirielle and her mysterious [Partner? Ally? .......friend?] attempt to find out the secret behind....... Noir.

Series Review: Fighting Foodons
Written by Purin
Purin: ****
      A long while ago, there was a great king, who apparently had way too much time on their hands. He sat around all day trying to figure out if a cooked turkey was stronger than a salad. Everyone thought that he was nuts, well... they were right... but a mysterious man came to the king. He actually had a clue what the king was talking about. He gave the king something called a meal ticket. These cards turned food into monsters that you could fight.
      There is a serious oppression in the world. A group called the Gluttons, who are under King Gorge, suppress and enslave all chefs who do not belong to the force. These chefs obtain ingredients for powerful monsters so King Gorge could rule the world.
      There are some brave enough to challenge this army. These people are called "Rebel Chefs." The champion of this rebellious faction is a man called Chef Jack, but he keeps a low profile. The story follows his son, Chase. Chase, his sister, and some sage who rides on a saucer go against this tyrannical faction.
      This series is a fun-filled jaunt filled with slapstick and food jokes. If you like Iron Chef and Pokemon, this series is for you.

Battle Square NEO
Sephy: Today’s battle square is between Ayame of the Kasumi Clan from Wrath of the Ninja and Yuffie Kisaragi from Final Fantasy VII to determine who is the master ninja.
Saotoby: Aren’t there a lot better ninja out there -gema? Are Yuffie and Ayame the two best ninja that you could find -gema?
Purin: Jig jig! Sephy spent his research time playing Yu-gi-oh!
Belldandy and Filia: *sitting in a corner plotting*
Sephy and Xellos: *sweat drop*

At the top of Battle Square Neo...
???: *adjusts sniper rifle* Just a few more moments and they’re toast.
Cyber Kitty: Where’s Gatomon? I know he’s here somewhere... *sets up sniper rifle* Oh. I see you’ve joined the KSA [Kawaii Sniper Association] too.
Purin: Haven’t we all?
Cyber Kitty: *notices Purin down with Sephy... then looks at Purin next to him... Purin next to Sephy... Purin next to him* ...it must be a Tuesday.

Yuffie: So... you have materia?
Ayame: I’ve had enough of your lies, Obarou Ninja!
Saotoby: You lied to her, didn’t you -gema?
Sephy: *throws Saotoby in a sack* Her blade is made of materia!
Yuffie: *big heart eyes*
Ayame: Yaaaa! *jumps at Yuffie*
Sephy: It looks like Ayame’s going to use the secret ability of her dagger.
Ayame: *slashes at Yuffie as a nova explosion (not unlike ultima) fills the arena*
Saotoby: This is almost as wrong as that -gema. *points to the two Purins talking to each other*
Pink: Yay! Yuffie’s dead!
Hojo: Why do you hate Yuffie?
Pink: She’s a hyper and bouncy moron. That and Sephy said she was cute.
Hojo: *adjusts his glasses* I see.
Sephy: *sweat drop* ...at this rate we might as well cancel the battle and just pay attention to what everyone else is talking about.
Yuffie: *shrugs off the damage and casts Cure3* It’ll take more than that to get rid of me! *takes out a Ninja Scroll*
Sephy: What’s this?! A real ninja scroll? There goes our G rating.
Belldandy: *cries out as she clutches her heart*
Filia: *examines Belldandy* She’s been shot through the heart! Who could’ve done such a thing?!
Xellos: *smirks* Sore wa... himitsu desu!
Sephy: Well, it was inevitable. Damn Purin... both of him. It was necessary to kill Belldandy due to those Evil Pills (TM).
Purin: It was his fault! *points at the doppelganger*
Purin #2: It was his fault! *points at the doppelganger*
Gatomon: It was his fault! *points at Purin* *suddenly irks from pain and falls over before digitally dying*
Sephy: At least we know who shot that one. Back to the fight!
Yuffie: *has changed into Chaos and starts beating on Ayame*
Vincent: *sitting next to Ilpalazzo* ...she’s cute.
Ilpalazzo: *waving a little flag* Japan.
Ayame: *slashes and hits Yuffie*
Sephy: This fight is nearing a climax. It looks like Yuffie’s going to use Chaos’s ultimate attack, Satan Slam!
Yuffie: *yells as a skull rises out of the ground and sends smaller skulls flying out hitting Ayame and throwing her into the wall, unconscious*
Sephy: Function ceased! The winner is Yuffie Kisaragi!
Mr. Referee: That is Mr. Referee’s job and the union will not be happy to hear about this! All this and more in the next episode of Medabots! More parts, more power! *storms off*
Filia: *screams out in pain as she falls over dead*
Sephy: Who did that?!
Xellos: Sore wa... himitsu desu!
Sephy: ...well, besides the ‘sore wa himitsu desu’ quota, we also have a star ping quota. *grabs Xellos and throws him into the atmosphere*
Xellos: Looks like Team Mazoku’s blasting off agaiiin! *ping*
Yuffie: *does her victory dance*
Vincent: It’s my turn now. *shoots Yuffie*
Ilpalazzo: Yes. It seems to be the most logical step. *shoots Excel*
Sephy: *twitch* Fine then! *jumps from the announcer’s booth and runs Aeris through*
Pink: Sephy?! What did you do?!
Purin: Oh my god, they killed Aeris!
Sephy: *twitch*
Vincent: *jumps down and grabs Yuffie and runs off* ...it’s going to be hot tonight.

Yu-Gi-Oh Card Of The Week #2
Written by Joey
Trap Card: Shift
      I got a copy of this card from a booster I won last weekend, so I thought I’d cover this Side-Deck must.
      Shift allows you to change the target of a specified attack, Magic, or Trap card. This could be helpful for annoying cards like Change Of Heart, Paralyzing Potion or Michizure. Its ability to change a specified target is what truly makes this card Rare-worthy compared to Fairy’s Hand Mirror. You could change the target to a set flip-effect monster or a defensive monster. However, if you’re down on your luck in a duel and draw this card, it’s not gonna help. This is a card that’s good in the middle of a duel. It may not win you duels, but it’ll stop any momentum your opponent may try to build. This is more of a side-deck card since it depends on what your opponent plays. If he has more Skull Dice and Reverse Trap cards, rather then Tribute To The Doomed, then you’re in trouble. If you know how to trade, wheel and deal, you might be able to get a good card in exchange for this one as well. I give it a steady 5 out of 10. 8 out of 10 as a side-deck card.

QUICK REVIEW:
Trap Card: Two-Pronged Attack.
No! No! No! Bad card! Bad, Bad card! It doesn’t even deserve to be a rare card, much less a common. 1 out of 10.

Closing- ANL HQ
Sephy: *sitting at his desk looking through pictures* There has to be a decent Battle Square match up somewhere. Not to mention that I need a new staff member. What about you, mysterious hunter?
Iria: Am I really that mysterious?
Fujikuro: Screw Iria, just hire me again!
Sephy: *eye glint*
Fujikuro: Huh?
Sephy: *smirks and pulls a rope sending Fujikuro hurtling down a shaft* Now that that’s settled, you’re our new bounty hunter.
Iria: What happened to your old one?
Sephy: *sniffs* That poor, poor soul... Well, you’re hired!
Iria: Uh...
Purin: Jig jig!
Purin #2: Jiggly!
Pink: What is going on here?
Purin: He’s one of the 57 Jigglypuff of the Apocalypse, Ragnos the Reaper of Grain.
Saotoby: *gasps* They actually exist!
Sephy: This’s just weird.
Xellos: Hm... sounds like a good time to do another Anime Awards Night!
Sephy: *annoyed look* Shouldn’t you be star pinged?
Xellos: Sore wa...
Sephy: Don’t you dare!
Iria: *smiles* ...himitsu desu!
Xellos: I think I’m in love.
Sephy: This’s been another horrible issue brought to you by Pokemon Bill’s Steak House, gotta eat ‘em all.

Endorsements:
http://anlcrew13.tripod.com
ANL Home Page

http://www.anipike.com
The Anime Turnpike, The #1 source on every Anime

http://www.rightstuf.com
Right Stuf On-line Store

http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site

Disclaimer:
We do not own anything, it all belongs to a whole bunch of other people, a very long list, so we’re not going to try. We apologize if anyone is deeply offended by our views, and if you are easily offended by stuff like this, we would suggest unsubscribing and/or moving to Uranus. Mostly because she’s such a good cousin.

If you'd like to contribute anything, unsubscribe (but... why?), or have a friend who wants this, contact us at anlneo@yahoo.com