Anime News Letter Season 4:
ANL Neo

Season 4, Issue 1

Anime News Letter
Season 4, Issue 1
1/17/03

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Inu Yasha/Seanma
Tea Wench/All Purpose Cat Girl: Pink
Lowly Reporter/Asst. Editor: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee
Article Writer: Gema Saotoby
Unlimited Goddess, 1st class/Cocoa Wench: Belldandy
Card Game Expert/Monster Trainer/Hopeful Future Dictator: Joey/Daisuke/Ilpalazzo
Local Mazoku/Priest: Xellos Metallium

Dear Reader,
      Another season, another time. Perhaps this season will be better. Perhaps worse. Maybe we’ll have more mecha for your worth. We have Pink from Dragon Pink as a new staff member who does a lot of cosplay so we’ll have hints and tips in further issues. As a debut new member to staff we have Joey, our card game expert (mostly Yu-gi-oh), who is also Daisuke (Digimon) and Ilpalazzo (Excel Saga). Cyber Kitty, on the other hand, has left the main staff to concentrate on spell checking, censoring, and making sure Gatomon stays dead. Let the games begin!
Sincerely,
Sephiroth
Editor-in-chief

Anime Review: Inu Yasha
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: ****
      Kagome was a normal high school student living at a Japanese Shinto shrine (well, if you’re someone like Sailor Mars) until she found a well that took her back to Feudal Japan. Turns out she’s the spitting image of Kikyou, the dead priestess of a village that defended the Shikon Jewel, a legendary item that can make demons stronger. Then she bumps into a half-fox demon named Inu Yasha who was asleep and nailed to a tree by an arrow shot from Kikyou fifty years prior. Somehow, Kagome awakens the slumbering half-demon and he revives to save the village from a demon that comes for the Shikon Jewel- that’s in Kagome’s body!
      Inu Yasha is another anime done by Rumiko Takahashi, the creator of Ranma 1/2 and Urusei Yatsura. She lives up to her repetition with this wonderful romantic demon-hunting comedy. The plot has several twists and bends that will leave watchers sitting on the edge of their seats and the characters are just as memorable as the ones from Ranma 1/2. It’s filled with thrills, laughs, and romance as America’s newest addition to the Cartoon Network.

Movie Review: Lupin III- Castle of Cagliostro
Written by Xellos
Xellos: *****   Sephy: ****
      Imagine, if you will, a cross between James Bond, MacGyver, and the flamingo from Fantasia 2000. Such a man is Lupin III, master thief, and the star of "Castle of Cagliostro." With his right-hand gunman, Jigen, he pulls off a record heist from a national casino, only to find out that the entire multibillion stash.....is counterfeit.
      Lupin and Jigen go after the source of the Goat Bills, the Duchy of Cagliostro...known as the "Black Hole", because all those who have sought this source have never returned. Along the way, they encounter Clarisse, the daughter of the late duke, being pursued by the Count of Cagliostro's men. [This pursuit was immortalized in DokiDoki Production's AMV, "Right Now"...."Right now, people are ignoring the laws of physics"]
      Lupin finds out that the Count is planning to marry Clarisse against her will, in order to find some sort of secret treasure. Summoning the stoic samurai Goemon, and enticing the zealous Inspector Zenigata [who arrives with Tokyo Metro, and a full truckload of ramen] into attendance, he plots the downfall of the cursed, callous Count.
      Along the way, he receives help from the bishojou spy Fujiko in thwarting the Count's plans..... but how he does so.....? Sore wa, himitsu desu!

Battle Square NEO
Sephy: *standing on a snow boarding slope with Xellos and Joey* Today on Battle Square we’re doing battles in a bit of a twist! Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi will do battle with Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star while snowboarding down this slope that we bought from the Final Fantasy VII blowout sale.
Xellos: I own all of Wutai now! Ha ha!
Joey: What’s the matter with you, Xeli?
Xellos: Just think of the innuendo! *hits Joey with his staff* And don’t call me that!
Joey: *grits teeth* That’s it! I’m taking ya out! Go! Red Eyes Black Dragon! *throws the card as the dragon is summoned, picks up Xellos and flies away*
Sephy: Works. Let’s get this going! *hops on to his snowboard as Nakago and Gene get on theirs and start their decent*
Joey: *following with a camera to film it* All right! This’s going to be awesome!
Sephy: *following Joey wearing stylish green ski goggles* This battle’s off to a slow start. Nakago comes from a world that’s set far in the past, back when snowboards didn’t exist whereas Gene comes from a world set far in the future past the need of snowboards. Neither seems to have a good grasp of the slope.
Nakago: I’d better get that sacred Seiryuu sword for the trouble this foolish board is causing me.
Gene: Twenty million credits for this one. I can master this stupid board for that. *wobbles as he balances and shoots at Nakago, falling and tumbling to a stop*
Sephy: That’s going to cost Gene as he takes a fall! With this special Battle Square, the first to reach the bottom wins.
Joey: Does this mean even I can win?!
Sephy: ...no.

Meanwhile, at the finish line...
Pink: *glares at Belldandy* He’s mine!
Belldandy: He wished that I’d be his girlfriend forever! You’re nothing more than a two-cent cat girl!
Purin: Jig-jig!
Saotoby: Ah -gema. No more Caterpie Cola for you -gema! *grabs it and drinks it*
Purin: Jiggly... 10 percent cola... ninety percent caterpie...
Saotoby: *shocked look -gema*

The race continues...
Sephy: Gene and Nakago have mastered their boards and are going all out!
Nakago: *hurls another chi ball which is blocked by Gene’s energy armor*
Gene: *fires a few more shots at the warlord which are easily dodged with grace and skill*
Nakago: I’ll have to choose a different strategy for you. *positions his body close to the ground to speed up and then drops a chi ball that explodes in front of Gene, sending him off course into a moogle igloo*
Cloud and Nuriko: *from the sidelines* You can do it, Gene!
Sephy: *shudders*
Nakago: *shudders* ...cross dresser.
Sephy: ...don’t you just hate them?
Gene: *gets up and brushes himself off to realize that Nakago is about to cross the finish line* Not if I can help it! Let’s see how you like a number five! *loads his special gun and fires a large blast hitting Nakago in the back sending him flying over the finish line* Damn it! *falls to his knees*
Fred Lou, Nuriko, and Cloud: *rushes to Gene’s side* That’s okay because you always have us!
Gene: *shudders*
Sephy: *stops and walks over to dislodge Nakago from a snow bank* Nakago is the winner! Do you have any words?
Nakago: With this victory I will go back to the Mysterious Play and conquer Konan and then the world in order to become a god.
Sephy: Really? You’re into the whole becoming a god thing, too?
Saotoby: Of course, Sephiroth’s plan included killing everyone so that means no one would worship him -gema.
Purin: Not to mention destroying the entire world. Not much of a god if he doesn’t have a world.
Nakago: So all I have to do is endanger the life of my world by summoning Seiryuu and have him destroy it, sending massive life energy to the center (which is where I will be) and by harvesting that energy I become a god.
Sephy: Exactly!
Belldandy: Sephy! Have some cocoa to keep you warm!
Pink: We all know Sephy needs his tea, with lots of sugar, tee hee!
Sephy: Thank you, Pink. *drinks the tea*
Belldandy: *twitch*
Purin: Jigglypuff! *drinks the cocoa*
Belldandy: *larger twitch*
Ilpalazzo: That wraps up another battle in the Battle Square!

Mission 1 - Battle Down the Slope
Today’s experiment........FAILED.

Sephy: *twitch* Only I can do that.
Ilpalazzo: *strums his guitar*
Sephy: Go! Snow Monkey!
Snow Monkey: *screams and leaps at Ilpalazzo and then climbs onto his shoulder and eats a banana*
Sephy: Damn union monkeys...

Yu-Gi-Oh Card Of The Week #1
Written by Joey
      Well, my first write up for the ANL. Might as well do something I know. That being Yu-Gi-Oh. I’ll write up my thoughts on a popular card, its worth, Rarity, playability, etc. So, here we go.
Monster Card: Red-eyes Black Dragon
      First off, there isn’t one tournament I’ve gone to where someone wasn’t looking for this ultra rare card. Why? Popularity. This is Joey Wheeler’s signature card in the anime series. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good in real life. Compared to cards like Gaia The Fierce Knight and Launcher Spider, it’s better….but that’s it. Unless you run a severe dragon deck, REBD isn’t worth much…yet. Why yet? Well, right now, REBD can be fused with the ever-so-great Summoned Skull to Create the Black Skull Dragon. Also, you could attach Metalmorph to special Summon Red-eyes Black Metalmorph Dragon. Why would that be good you might ask? REBMD is a Machine-type. Therefore, you can use limiter removal to double his attack to 5600. That’s not all. Later on, REBD can fuse with Meteor Dragon to create the super awesome Meteor Black Dragon. So, we have a very fusion-versatile dragon that sucks on it’s own. So, until Meteor Dragon/Meteor Black Dragon are released, there really isn’t too great a use for the Red-Eyes. I give it a 4 out of 10. A 5 out of 10 when the Meteor boys are released. That’s all.

Closing- Northern Crater Ski and Okonomiyaki Shop
Sephy: *looks at the sign* ...
Purin: ...
Gatomon: ...
Cyber Kitty: ... *shoots Gatomon in the head and then leaves*
Belldandy: ...
Daisuke: I’m starving, let’s go in, Veemon. *walks in*
Veemon: *is actually on a secret island in the Caribbean being held for ransom... leave twenty dollars next to the stump in the park or you’ll never see him again*
Pink: *blinks* Sephy-chan, why aren’t we going in?
Sephy: I’m afraid...
Belldandy: *narrows eyes and walks in with a shot gun*
Sephy: Well, that settles that. *walks in with the rest of the staff following him*
Belldandy: *nailed to the wall with spatulas* Damn that b----!
Sephy: *glares at Purin* You’re sure that the last of the evil pills were given to Kasumi?
Purin: Yes. The Tendo Dojo will never be quite the same again. (Haven’t we heard that several times before?)
Ukyo: Sephy-chan! *glomps him*
Pink: *twitch*
Hojo: Ah, son, how are you? *finishes his okonomiyaki* I have your fiancée here for you to meet.
Ukyo: *giggles* That won’t be necessary. I’m right here.
Pink: What’re you talking about?! *flattens Ukyo with a large mallet* I’m his only fiancée!
Belldandy: But he wished for me!
Hojo: *adjusts his glasses while laughing* No. *stops laughing* You’re all wrong. Here she is. *enter- Kagome*
Kagome: Where is he? *looks around*
Sephy: *smirks and whispers to Purin* I can’t turn into Inu Yasha unless I get hit in the head with a beach ball so I’m safe.
Xellos: *appears from nowhere* Look what I found! *throws a beach ball across the room hitting Sephy in the face turning him into Inu Yasha*
Pink: *looks around confused* Where did my Sephy-chan go?
Kagome: Inu Yasha!
Hojo: You see, I traded you for a cheese burrito to the young daughter of this bizarre American-Irken robot with a rubber piggy.
Inu Yasha: That doesn’t even make any sense, old man.
Kagome: *hugs the half-demon* Now we can be together forever!
Inu Yasha: *freaks out* Forget this! Iron Claw Soul Reaver! *makes a large hole in the wall and escapes*
Pink: Sephiroth? *looks under a table*
Daisuke: Mmm... I like okonomiyaki! Someday I’ll open up my own okonomiyaki cart. Screw it. I’m going to be like Shampoo and make noodles! *gets hit in the head with Ukyo’s battle spatula*
Purin: That wraps up-
Xellos: No you don’t! *throws Purin through the ceiling* I get to say it this time!
Purin: Looks like Team Jiggly’s blasting off agaiiiin! *ping*
Xellos: That wraps-

Inu Yasha falling down the conveniently placed cliff...
Inu Yasha: This’s it for another issue of the Anime News Letter!
Xellos: *phases in* That’s all for this-
Inu Yasha: Hey! I just got done saying that!
Xellos: *narrows eyes* Humph. *phases out*
Inu Yasha: Aren’t you going to help me out here?!
Red Eyes Black Dragon: ...seriously... how many stars do you really think I deserve?
Inu Yasha: I’ll give you nine if you help me!
REBD: Make it ten.
Inu Yasha: *turns back to Sephiroth* Deal.
REBD: *picks Sephy out of the air and flies him back to the safety of the shop*
Sephy: No! Drop me! I’d rather be falling! Nooo!!!

???: Next time on ANL! Kagome and Ukyo are back to rival Belldandy and Pink’s claim on Sephiroth. Who will win his heart? Why is there a hentai character on staff? Will Gatomon ever make his comeback? What will be the next card of the week? All this and more in the next issue!
??? #2: I know that’s you. *shoots the first mysterious voice* And stay dead!

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