Anime News Letter Season 3:
ANL Neo

Season 3, Issue 2

Staff
Sephiroth/Seanma - Editor and Overlord of the ANL
Lum/Enigma - Cute Anime/Anthro chick
Purin/Bryoga - Pokemon Master/Reporter
Xellos - Webmaster/Local Linux Expert
Skuld - Goddess Second Class/Chief Engineer
HentaiGatomon- Resident Pervert/Cute Critter
Cyber Kitty - Censor and Sailor Moon Reject

Letter from the Editor
Dear Reader,
      We’ve been getting good remarks and no death threats and that’s good enough to continue. The ANL has once again gone international, too. We have subscribers in Canada and Denmark! However, during season 2 we had over forty subscribers and we’re down to about seven right now (counting an animation club). If you know someone who wants to subscribe, please have them e-mail anlneo@yahoo.com if you would. My personal goal is to see the ANL have twenty subscribers by the end of the month, so I’d better get rolling. To address a concern that some have expressed about Battle Square, it does not always end by a third party intervening. That honestly only happens when neither will win or they’re both complete pacifists. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Sephiroth “One Winged Angel- I don’t need more”

Anime Preview: Nuku Nuku Dash (PG-13)
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: ****
      Ryunosuke is your average guy in middle school. He has wild fantasies about the girl of his dreams, a mad scientist for a father, a mother who’s a poor scientist supporting the family, and an all-purpose multicultural cat girl android living in the same house as him. This wouldn’t shock you too much unless you’ve seen the original Nuku Nuku series. The characters are all there (even Arisa and Kyoko) but the personalities and the plot are entirely different. Kyusaku, the mad scientist, stole Nuku Nuku (a military android with a mysterious origin) from Mishima Corp, where his wife works at. Only he knows the secret of Nuku Nuku, what he can access, at any rate. Apparently, Nuku Nuku is harder to hack into the Pentagon and holds more secrets than Lain.
      Unfortunately, Akiko (the mother) has been assigned to hunting down Nuku Nuku. If she knew what Nuku Nuku looked like, it’d end the series a little quicker seeing as how they live in the same house. More unfortunate news is that Nuku Nuku has become the target of Ryunosuke’s affection. The hunt is on from Mashima Corp. during all of this as well. We’re talking about transforming attack helicopters, fighter jets with missiles that hit non-human life (and ones that DO hit humans), and even android flower girls with rocket launchers. In one episode, Nuku Nuku even meets up with a copy of herself. The battles are great too. Nuku Nuku’s kept her normal gigantic strength while picking up a battle suit that throws energy balls.
      Even though this is completely different from the Nuku Nuku we’ve all come to know and love, this is a wonderful series. ADV has recently picked this up and it is rumored to be released within the next year or so.

Megaman Battle Network 2 (G)
Written by Purin
Purin: ****
      Well, Wily seems to have given up his evil ways (well, Hell just froze over) and virus activity has weakened. Then a new threat comes up. A new order, the Gospel Mafia, has formed and resumed the activities of WWW. Yep, Treble has been causing trouble... Probably on the top of the list for the group is burying Skullman.exe. Back on topic, summer’s here and Lan’s ecstatic. One problem, it’s report card time and Lan’s grades SUCKED. What? Did you think school was just about learning to save the world from hackers? Well, this version features Cutman.exe (Finally), a new way to get armor, and multiple countries (Including a nasty country that’s full of crooks that’s supposed to be us). This is a game for those who like to help a world and certain residents and want to beat the living daylights out of people who even think about hurting your precious PC.
      The game play is a lot like the last one with new viruses and chips to blow everyone out of the water. It’s a nice break from the action/adventure Megaman games to step into an RPG world.

BATTLE SQUARE NEO
Lum: *transform into a black panther furry in an elaborate green dress, otherwise known as Enigma*
Sephy: *kicks back and drinks his tea* Ah... some R&R at last...
Enigma: Today in the Battle Square, Gillas from Slayers is going to take on Aisha Clan-Clan of the Ctarl Ctarl Empire!
Cyber Kitty: Please no English dubbing, oh Buddha, please let Gillas not be English dubbed...
Xellos: Gillas is a fox who served the forces of darkness during Slayers Try. His main weapon is a bomb, which is explosive to say in the least. He lost one of his eyes when humans came in and slaughtered his fellow foxes. Ever since then, he’s been seeking vengeance.
Skuld: Aisha Clan-Clan is one of the Ctarl Ctarl, an intergalactic race of tiger people. Their power is increased by the power of the moon. She is from the series Outlaw Star, a sci-fi adventure series about finding the Galactic Ley Line to get really rich.
Purin: Speaking of riches, the winner of today’s battle gets 2000 gold!
Gillas: Oy now, where’s th’ lady I’m ta fight?
Cyber Kitty: Can someone PLEASE shoot me?!
Xellos: *twitches* Sephiroth...
Sephy: What?
Xellos: Ra tilt! *explodes the ground underneath Sephiroth*
Sephy: *goes flying through the air* Looks like team Sephy’s blasting off agaiiiin!!! *ping*
Xellos: Remember kids, English dubbed is painful.
Sephy: *sipping tea* It’s really hard to make those clones, you know. Hojo doesn’t have all the time in the world, after all.
Hojo: *working on a laptop attached to Nuku Nuku* Damn this! She’s harder to hack into than the Pentagon!
Xellos: *switches to Linux mode* You mean crack. Hacking is beneficial where is cracking isn’t. You’d think she’d be simple, being based in Mac format...
Enigma: Where is Aisha?!
Aisha: Aisha is here -nyo! Aisha needed to eat fish first -nyo!
Gillas: ‘ere’s what ya get, gov’na! *throws a bomb which Aisha catches*
Aisha: *gets wide eyed as the bomb explodes, covering her in black dust* You’ll get it now -nyo! The moon gives the Ctarl Ctarl power -nyo.
Enigma: Apparently, Sephy screwed up something so Aisha is talking like a Di Gi Charat character by adding -nyo to the end of everything.
Yugi: *looks at a golem from Monster Rancher* Giant Soldier of Stone, attack the MOON!!!
Golem: Screw you, kid, I’m getting a taco. *walks off*
Yugi: Why is my card acting so strangely? *thinks and twitches* JOEY!!!
Joey: What?
Aisha: *grows more cat-like and even grows a tail*
Gillas: Oy now, what’s this?
Cyber Kitty: That’s it! *clicks a remote switching Gillas to Japanese subbed and Xellos to English dubbed.
Xellos: *puts on a sweater* Won’t you be my neighbor?
Gatomon: *snickers constantly while curled up on Naga’s lap* Serves him right for not buying me meow mix and those porno mags.
Editor’s note: For those of you who have been fortunate enough to never see the English dubbed version of Slayers Try, Xellos sounds a lot like Mr. Rogers.
Gillas: *throws another bomb which explodes harmlessly on Aisha* That is not supposed to happen!
Aisha: *drop kicks Gillas into a wall*
Enigma: Aisha’s turned this battle around with the enhanced power of the moon! Can Gillas survive?
Gillas: *stands back up* I’m pulling out all the stops! *pushes a button on a mysterious box*
*somewhere out where the foxes still play out in the spring air while hummingbirds hum all day long, a gigantic oddly made missile is fired into the sky*
Gillas: This last ditch effort has the power of twenty dragon slaves!
Sephy: *spits out his tea* WHAT?! *runs off*
Gillas: *starts throwing bombs like mad knowing that the end is near* I won’t lose!
Enigma: Maybe I should get out of here as well...
Xellos: *manages to switch back to Japanese subbed* Twenty dragon slaves could more than decimate this arena.
Yugi: Dark Magician, destroy the missile!
Vivi: Leave me alone! *runs off crying*
Yugi: Joey! What did you do?!
Joey: Why do I get in all da trouble for yer cards, Yugi?
Yugi: *twitches*
Sephy in Queen Margarita 2: Take this, stupid missile! *grabs it and tosses it into outer space, harmlessly destroying a small part of the moon*
Yugi: Giant Soldier of Stone! You listened to me!
Golem: *punches Yugi, knocking him out*
Skuld: Now, let’s hope that A-ko doesn’t try to attack Queen Margarita again (watch Project A-ko 2: Plot of the Daitokuji Group)... It took forever to rebuild that last time.
Aisha: *starts slowing down* Feeling hungry -nyo...
Gillas: *keeps throwing his barrage of bombs* Ha ha ha! Take this and this and this!!!
Aisha: *collapses from hunger* Nyo...
Gillas: *has FINALLY run out of bombs* Ha! Serves you right.
Enigma: And the winner is... Gillas from Slayers Try!
Sephy: Even though Aisha held the advantage of brute strength, she didn’t have the endurance to last a long battle. Gillas, on the other hand, continued to hold a strategic advantage of having bombs to keep Aisha at bay. If he had run out a little sooner, she would’ve had him.

Conversational Japanese
By Sephiroth
Jan Ken Pon (jahn ken pone): Rock/Paper/Scissors
Tasukete Kudasai! (tahss-kate-tay kuu-dah-sie): Please help me/us!
Issho ni o-furu ni hairimasho-ka? (Ees-show nee uh-fuu-roe nee hie-ree-mah-show-ka): Shall we take a bath together?
Uwokka, kudasai (wu-oh-kah, kuu-dah-sie): Vodka, please.

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Ryoga Runs in...
Ryoga: Ok, so where's my next delivery?
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Runs out door in exact opposite direction of before-mentioned high school...
Ukyo: Remember, if your Okonomiyaki isn't there in a week, it's free!
Ukyo's Okonomiyaki Hut
"Over 5,000 served, and over um...1 home delivered"

Closing: Neko Shrine
Sephy: *in traditional samurai clothing sipping tea*
Lum: Why does darling drink so much tea -d’tcha?
Skuld: *hopping from stone to stone around a koi pond* He apparently needs the protein since he’s a vampire.
Lum: *imagines Sephy dressed up like D* D’tcha...
Sephy: That’s Vincent.
Vincent: I vant to suck yer blood... blah!
HentaiGatomon: PERVERT!!! *thunder claws and rakes Vincent finishing the combo with a whack from the spike tail ornament*
Purin: I’m not even going to touch this one with a steelix...
Sephy: What is going on here?
Xellos: *winks with the classic pose* Sore wa himitsu desu.
Everyone else: *glares*
Xellos: What?
Cyber Kitty: Do you really miss English Dubbing that much?
Xellos: Ha! I can withstand any torture!
Sephy: Oh.. Filia’s here to see you.
Xellos: *enters sub space and stays there*
Gatomon: Back to what I do best! *glomps Lum’s breasts*
Lum: *twitches* Divine...
Purin: Conversion 2! Ground! *turns into a stone Kirby*
Sephy: *sips tea while slipping into sub space*
Cyber Kitty: X-zone! *sends self to the N-zone*
Skuld: *runs like Hell using her Skuld SupershoesTM*
Lum: RETRIBUTION!!! *the clouds grow black as lightning is focused through Lum completely frying HentaiGatomon*
Xellos: AHHHH!!! *jumps out of sub space* What was Filia doing there?!
Sephy: *steps out with his tea* Sucks to be you... I’m glad my patron deity didn’t win me a fiancée by accepting a donut as dowry from Bahumat.
Lum: Darling! *giggles and glomps Sephy*
Purin: *reverts and starts poking Gatomon with a stick* Sephy... the kitty’s broken again...
Gato: *blood coming out of his mouth* S-sephiroth-sama...
Sephy: *holds Gatomon in his arms*
Gato: Are there succubi in Hell?
Sephy: *tear filled eyed* More than you can imagine...
Gato: *smiles lightly* Then I have... no reg… rets... *digitally disperses*
Sephy: Iris! No! Tell me... what am I fighting for? WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOR?!
Purin: Cake and tea. *slaps Sephy* That’s what you’re fighting for.
Sephy: Oh. Yeah.
Lum: *dangerous glare* Who’s Iris -d’tcha?
Sephy: But poor Gatomon... time to find a new pervert! As all of our subscribers from seasons one and two know, he’ll just be back in a reunion issue, anyway. *runs off*
Lum: *flies after him* WHO’S IRIS -D’TCHA?!
Purin: I’m going to learn how to be a summoner! First to Bevelle! *runs off*
Xellos: *shudders* I have to get out of that engagement. *runs off*
Naga: I’m coming too! *geisha laugh and runs off*
*Gatomon phases back in and grabs his tail ornament off the ground*
Gato: Almost forgot this! Wait... aww, damn it. You’re not supposed to know I’m still alive! Well, off to the red light district with me. *skips merrily along*
???: What wild wacky adventures will Gatomon get himself into now that is no longer employed at the ANL? Why won’t we see them? Who will Sephy replace him with? And who the Hell is Iris?! All this and more in the next episode of ANL Neo, digital monsters.
Sephy: *kills the narrator* We’re not digital monsters. Well, besides Gatomon and Cyber Kitty. And maybe Purin. I’m never sure with him.
Lum: Divine retribution! *zaps Sephy*
Sephy: Eep! *runs off*

Ads/Websites
www.rightstuf.com
One of the best stores to buy anime and related goods.

www.anipike.com
The Anime Turnpike. Next stop! Lots of links to anime sites!

www.furcadia.com
Furry/Anthropomorphic community in a visual chat room (PC users only, I’m afraid)

Enigma’s fan subbing service: Specializes in data CDs and VCDs. E-mail her at enchantress01@bigfoot.com for details and a complete list. She has popular fan subbed series that are more than worth the low cost.

If you would like to place an ad, please e-mail anlneo@yahoo.com with all the information you would like to provide.

If you don’t want this or have a friend who wants to subscribe, please e-mail anlneo@yahoo.com

Contact the editor on AOL with the screen name tigeroberon for any comments/suggestions. Don’t worry. That Masamune is only for looks. Or so you hope.