Season 2, Issue 20
Animé News Letter
Season 2, Issue 20
Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Tea Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent/Tripod Webmistress: Shampoo/Asuka
Lowly Reporter/Asst. Editor: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee/Kyusaku
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: HentaiGatomon
Engineer/Limited Goddess, 2nd class/Cocoa Wench: Skuld
Secret Police/Walking Data Base: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=
Bounty Hunter: Fujikuro/Zell Dinct
Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The ex-Secretary", Ami-chan, Melancholy, Ranma, Aly/Mimi/Raisin, Kaitou Ace, Tasuki, Lucifer Morningstar, Neo “Genesis”, Am0s M0ses, Makato/Oddichu/Akiko, Lain The Typhoon, Mikon/Moko-ohki/evil cold cabbit, Ferio, Hojo, Ice Dragon #74, Vegeta’s in Maine, Jadeite, Deedlit, Little~Sasami, Locke/White Tiger, Xellos, Sailor Kaoss, Ewok/Fabulous Techie #3/Yoda, Chibi Chibi Usa, and Neptunelover
Subscribers in: Maine 12, California 2, Texas 4, Georgia 2, Colorado 1, NY 1, Florida 1, Missouri 2, Virginia 1, Illinois 1, Maryland 1, Washington 1, and Idaho 1
If you know anyone who wants this, contact us at sephy_asuka@yahoo.com
Dear reader,
ANL leaps into another exciting number... 20!!! We’ve been around for twenty issues and we’re about to have our second annual Animé Awards Night (AAN ‘01)! DON’T MISS IT!!! Today’s Battle Square pits the best swordsmen against each other for the title of Sword Master! Kenshin, Cloud, Trunks, and several more will face off against each other in our traditional Japanese town stadium!!!
Sincerely,
Sephiroth, Editor-in-Chief
Animé Series Review: Rouroni Kenshin
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: **** Cyber Kitty: ****
The Meiji Era marked the end of Samurai Japan. During that time, the Meiji government banned swords from being carried around and tried to usher in a time of peace. Many samurai tried to live as civilians, others became terrorists trying to take down the government. However, these terrorists had to overcome the large obstacle of the bakkousai- Kenshin Himura. Once a legendary samurai, he gave up his life of killing at the beginning of the Meiji Era and picked up a sakaba sword (a reversed blade to only wound, not kill, the opponent) and tried to make up for his previous life of bloodshed.
Kenshin soon finds himself living at a dojo with a tomboyish martial artist, Kaoru (not Anything Goes, but a variety of Kendo), and her sisters. They’re usually guarded over by an old and senile doctor, but he fades in and out of the series. Kenshin and Kaoru then meet up with more comical martial artists, ninja, and samurai, including a pickpocket Tokyo Samurai and the Wild Gangster Zanza. Rouroni Kenshin is a great animé series for both laughs and a very intriguing storyline.
Animé Series Review: Big O
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: *** Cyber Kitty: **
Forty years ago, Paradigm City lost its memories. Everyone had a complete case of amnesia. To make matters worse, everything else outside of the city stopped existing. Fortunately, the crucial components to civilization were saved. The city has electricity, gas, structure, androids, a semi-functional police department, and giant robot war machines called megadeuces.
One of the only people in the city (besides all the criminals) that has a megadeuce is Roger Smith: the Negotiator. He negotiates. That’s his job. He’s also rich, with a fancy home, a neat car that can change colors, a demented butler, and a female android as a partner. The series isn’t very complex, and focuses around the people of the city trying to get by with what they have, and trying not to get stepped on by megadeuces. It’s interesting, but it’s almost too much of a Batman series with giant robots thrown in for kicks.
BATTLE SQUARE NEO!!!
Sephy: Welcome to our quaint Japanese village, where almost every swordsmen around is about to duel it out!
Kuno: Of course, the winner will be I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! *thrusts his boktou out in the air while laughing*
Trunks: *knocks Kuno into the horizon with one fell swoop of his sword*
Cloud: *slashes Trunks away with one slash of his buster edge*
Sephy: Things are really heating up!!! *watches a band of samurai just relentlessly slash and hack at each other*
Squall: *uses RENZOKUKEN!!! against Steiner (FFIX) and then the blasting zone tech to send Steiner into next week*
Sephy: Got to hand it to that RENZOKUKEN!!! *laughs and then sets fire to the village*
Swordsman #1: He’s crazy!
Swordsman #2: We’ve got to stop him! *focuses on Sephiroth*
Pokéballs: *open with that weird sound releasing waves of Scyther and Farfetch’d, followed by an army of moogles on chocobo*
Sephy: Purin!!! Wait till I get my hands on you!!! *storms off through his holocaust to find Purin*
Moogle Boss: Let’s get ‘em, boys! *waves of moogles and pokémon take down the entire army of swordsmen in one go*
???: Stop fighting!!! *emerges from the inferno with his sakaba sword*
Moogle Boss: Who’re you?
???: I am Himura... Kenshin Himura!!! Stop this carnage!
Moogle Boss: NEVER! Scyther, attack!!! *five scyther attack Kenshin only to be smacked around with the sakaba and dashed to the ground* Farfetch’d, I choose all of you! *the entire farfetch’d army is quickly put down by Kenshin’s swordsmanship*
Skuld: The sakaba sword has its blade reversed so as to not kill anyone who is hit by it. It was first designed as a monk’s weapon.
Moogle #1: Boss... He’s serious!
Moogle #2: We’d better get out of here!!!
Kenshin: Maybe now you’ll listen to reason.
Moogle Boss: Never, for I, Kapok Ryukenouske, shall destroy you! *drags out a Kodachi*
Gatomon: *escaping from a nearby bath house with a full looting sack* Ah... the Kodachi! It’s the perfect sword for a ninja, as it primarily focuses on speed. It has the special bonus of being much shorter than normal swords, allowing the wielder to get in really close to the opponent.
Asuka: *running out of the bath house wrapped in only a towel* YOU PERVERT!!! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
Gatomon: *sweat drop* Heh... Smoke Bomb! *poof*
Kenshin: *slashes at Kapok, but is easily blocked*
Fabulous Techie #3: Kenshin will have to do better than that to defeat Kapok and his Kodachi blade.
White Tiger: *gently sipping tea as the inferno blazes around him* Yes, it would seem that Kenshin’s at a disadvantage with his sakaba’s length.
Shampoo: Hiya... size important, and Seanma have biggest sword around...
Kenshin: *grabs the blade of his sakaba to shorten its length*
Kapok: W-what’s this?!
Kenshin: *leaps up into the air* Ryu Tsui Sen!!! *smashes his sakaba down on Kapok’s head, rendering him unconscious and driving him into the ground*
White Tiger: The Ryu Tsui Sen (Flashing Dragon Smash) uses the sakaba’s blunt surface to finish an opponent with flawless results. *gets up* Well, Kenshin’s the winner. Now we’ve got to find Sephiroth... It’s very strange that he mysteriously vanished before Kenshin arrived...
*New Fox Special! When Angels Attack, hosted by Gendo Ikari!*
Gendo: Angels have been typically portrayed as kind, magnificent beings that want to help humanity. Sometimes, though, things just turn out wrong. *hits a button on a remote* Our first clip shows Ramiel, an octohedran-like angel that attacked Tokyo-3.
Ramiel: BWA!!! *blasts a couple of buildings with a laser beam* Feel a full d8’s worth of wrath!!!
Gendo: *blinks* I didn’t realize that he could talk... Our next clip is of Kefka, that infamous angel from Final Fantasy III and VI (take your pick). *starts the clip*
Kefka: *turns his Beam of Justice on a town, frying it to a crisp* I’ll create a shrine to nothingness!!! Bwa, ha, ha... *scene changes to the final battle with Kefka changed into a monstrous dark angel* H-A-T-E!!! HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE!!!
Gendo: *shakes his head* Isn’t it sickening? The world is plagued by angels. At NERV, we try to stop that with our three EVA units. “NERV: God is in his Heaven, We Try to Keep it that Way.” Our last clip is of the most destructive angel in existence... *starts the clip*
Sephiroth: *burns down Nibelheim while slaying the inhabitants* *scene changes to the end battle with Sephiroth as the one-winged angel fighting Cloud and his hooligans* *scene changes to the very end where Cloud and Sephy are fighting in the Life Stream and Sephy decapitates Cloud and displays the head on a pike*
Gendo: ...I somehow don’t remember it happening like that. *turns monitor off* If you, or someone you know is having trouble with Angels, please contact NERV at 1-800-EVA-HELP. Once again, the number is 1-800-EVA-HELP. Thank you, and remember: Angels may look helpful and friendly, but they’re savage beasts ready to kill you in a second’s notice.
Cyber Kitty: The number is something we made up, so please DON’T try it.
Closing: At Shampoo’s Ramen Hut
Sephy: *walks in with Kenshin and Locke*
Gatomon: Huh. I thought Kenshin and Sephy were one in the same...
Happosai: You’ve got a lot to learn, m’boy. Now, show me those panties... *laughs evilly*
Gatomon: *smiles evilly and takes out a pair of lacy red panties* You’ll never guess who I got these from...
Asuka: *screams* PERVERTS!!! *kicks Happo and Gato into a star ping* *grabs her undergarments while her eye twitches* I really, really hate those perverts...
Sephy: *takes a seat in the back with his two friends*
Shampoo: *with heart eyes* Hiya!!! Seanma!!!
Kenshin: *smiles and laughs* Hey, Sephy-dono...
Sephy: *sharply turns on Kenshin* Shut up, Kenshin!
Locke: *smiles* Yeah, Seph-
Sephy: *sharply turns on Locke* Shut up, Locke!
Shampoo: *smiles* Hiya! Seanma and others want tea?
Sephy, Locke, & Kenshin: Yes, please!
Shampoo: Shampoo be one minute! *skips off*
Locke: I don’t know... Was it that fast?
Sephy: *punches Locke* I said shut up!
Locke: How exactly would she know that you have the longest sword around? *laughs*
Sephy: *whacks Kenshin upside the head with Masamune* That’s how!
Kenshin: @_@ *<--swirly eyes* Oro-o-o-o-o... *falls backwards*
Cyber Kitty: So, Sephy-sama, when will the form for the Animé Awards Night 2001 be sent out?
Sephy: Oh... sometime this week.
Shampoo: *brings the “gentlemen” their tea and kisses Sephy on the cheek*
Locke: *snicker*
Sephy: *concentrates and Locke bursts into flames*
Endorsements:
https://anlcrew13.tripod.com/main.html
ANL Home Page
http://kawaiianimegirl.tripod.com/smeared.html
Ami-chan’s really cool page
http://www.anipike.com
The Animé Turnpike, The #1 source on every Animé
http://www.rightstuf.com
Right Stuf On-line Store
http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site
http://www.geocities.com/animenewspage
Zell’s webpage
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