Anime News Letter Season 2

Season 2, Issue 17

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Tea Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent/Tripod Webmistress: Shampoo/Asuka
Lowly Reporter/Asst. Editor: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee/Kyusaku
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: HentaiGatomon
Engineer/Limited Goddess, 2nd class/Cocoa Wench: Skuld
Secret Police/Walking Data Base: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=
Geocities Webmaster/Bounty Hunter: Fujikuro/Zell Dinct

Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The ex-Secretary", Ami-chan, Melancholy, Ranma, Aly/Mimi/Raisin, Kaitou Ace, Tasuki, Lucifer Morningstar, Neo “Genesis”, Am0s M0ses, Makato/Oddichu/Akiko, Lain The Typhoon, Mikon/Moko-ohki/evil cold cabbit, Ferio, Hojo, Ice Dragon #74/“Icy”, Vegeta’s in Maine, Jadeite, Deedlit, Little~Sasami, Locke/White Tiger, Xellos, Sailor Kaoss, Ewok/Fabulous Techie #3/Yoda, Chibi Chibi Usa, and Neptunelover
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Dear reader,
      The new millennium is here, and I’m still without an interstellar spaceship of my very own. Saotoby and Locke were over at my house at the time, and we spent the following morning searching for hover cars, androids (only to find Armitage, Marie, and Nuku Nuku hiding in the bathroom closet), and food pellets. We were remotely disappointed with the androids... well, not Nuku Nuku, hee, hee... but they should’ve been at least two stories high by now... then we found one of B-Ko’s trashed mechas. That was very disappointing. We expected better, and as I was properly swearing at a half-destroyed Statue of Liberty (damn snow monkeys), Gundam Deathscythe crashed into it. Okay, so we have mecha and androids, big deal. We also found food pellets! They were oddly colored with a W on each one. We first thought that it meant Wiley (from those ancient Rockman games... Megaman to you Americans), but then we realized that it really just indicated that it was a candy first developed during one of the World Wars. So, overall, this new millennium is disappointing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to shoo those dratted snow monkeys away from the Monolith (and I’m not talking about the creature from Monster Rancher).
Sincerely,
Sephiroth

Series Review: All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku
Written by Sephy
Sephy: *****   Kyusaku/Purin: *****
      Ryunosuke (an elementary school child) and his father, Kyusaku, are on the run from his mother’s company, the Mashima Heavy Industries, who specialize in weaponry for a country that’s about to start a war. Kyusaku was working on a prototype android for military purposes, code named NK-1124, when he was struck with a moral dilemma, grabbed the robot and ran off with it and his son. Akiko, Ryunosuke’s mother, is overprotective of her son and will get him back, no matter what the cost. Around Christmas time (while being pursued), Ryu finds a stray kitten in an alley. Finding it much to his liking, he takes it with him. He father objects, but the helicopter Poison One is in hot pursuit of them, so they jump into the car (with the cat), and eventually get trapped in a junkyard (under a few scrapped cars). Poison One, being piloted by Arisa (who’s into that “Battle Warrior-Maid Stuff”), lets a round of machine gun fire pound at them, before thinking that their prey is lost, and they return to Mashima HQ. No one is hurt, except for the mortally wounded kitten. Kyusaku remedies the situation by inserting the brain of the cat into NK-1124, and Nuku Nuku is born. This series is filled to the brim with mecha, insane motherly love, and an adorable high school android with a cat’s brain. To make things better, Nuku Nuku was another android made with Macintosh.

Movie Review: Yu Yu Hakusho the Movie
Written by Sephy
Sephy: **
      This is assumingly from the same series as Poltergeist Report, but is very different. If you loved the animation, voice actors, and plot from Poltergeist Report, do NOT watch this movie!!! However, if you thought that it was too serious, Yu Yu Hakusho the Movie is a good one for you to see. The first thing to keep in mind is that the animation is nowhere near PR (Poltergeist Report), and is more similar to something like Flint the Time Detective. YYHtM is based on a renegade demon god abusing a child-hood friend of Ko-enma’s that wants to get him back for dating a girl that he wanted in preschool. Holding Ko-enma ransom, he demands the Seal to the Spirit World that will declare him the ruler of the Spirit World. Yusuke and his friends have to battle it out to save the Spirit World (except for Botan who refuses to fight, but for one scene where she beats a demon over the head with an oar). The one really and seriously disturbing difference between YYHtM and PR is that Hiei has a very different (and worse) voice actor, and his “I hate you all and want you dead in a horrible fashion, because I’m a fire demon raised by a bunch of ice demons and no one really likes me, except for Kurama (his lover)” attitude is mellowed, and he’s actually slightly friendly.

BATTLE SQUARE NEO (Hokkaido Prefecture)
Sephy: *in a hot spring with Nuku Nuku, Yuri, Shampoo, and Ami-chan surrounding him* H-help!
Kyusaku: *in a hot spring with Gatomon, Skuld, Cyber Kitty, Fujikuro, and a whole bunch of snow monkeys* I think you shouldn’t complain so much, Sephy.
Gatomon: What’s Yuri doing here?
Cyber Kitty: As indicated from a previous issue, number 4 to be exact, Yuri has a thing for Sephiroth. If you want further data, Sephiroth taught her the Hiryu Shoten Ha to be able to defeat the dreaded Copycat Ken. To view that issue, go to Season 2, Issue 4.
Gatomon: ...what about Shampoo?
Cyber Kitty: As you remember from the last issue, she... um... found out that Sephiroth wasn’t Ranma... and, um... I... don’t know...
Shampoo: What you talking about? This is Shampoo’s Seanma!
Cyber Kitty: Shampoo, that isn’t Ranma.
Shampoo: You stupid!
Sephy: Shampoo!!! Ranma’s your fiancée!!! I’m not Ranma!!!
Shampoo: You feeling all right? Shampoo worried about her Seanma... Seanma want some tea?
Ukyo: My Seanma’s right, he’s my fiancée! *dramatic music*
Sephy: *gulps* Oh no...
Skuld: It’s the return of...
Ukyo: That’s right, Ukyo Kounji’s back!
Sephy: *jumps out of the spring and instantly throws on his trench coat* I’m out of here!!! *runs in the opposite way, smacking into the Monolith* Ouch...
Snow monkey: *makes kyoooouute monkey sounds while hitting Sephy with a bone club*
Mysterious Black Cabbit: *makes snarling sounds and attacks the snow monkey, driving it off*
Sephy: I thought you were dead! *embraces the cabbit in a hug*
Gatomon: *yawning and putting his arm around Skuld’s shoulders* Explain that one, Mr. I-know-everything-cause-I’m-Mac-based. Sephy’s terrified of cabbits.
Cyber Kitty: That’s Kamui, a black-furred cabbit that saved Sephy’s life while he was engaged in combat with Tallgeese. That was after classic, but before this version of the ANL (which I lovingly call ANL Neo).
Kamui: Meooowwrr...
Gatomon: Isn’t Kamui that Dragon of Heaven from that X movie? *edges closer to Skuld*
Skuld: Ah!!! YOU PERVERT!!! *beats Gatomon with a snow monkey’s bone club and then star pings him* Thank you, Mrs. Chupon...
“Mrs. Chupon”: Graww.... *takes back the bone club*
Cyber Kitty: *coughs* Actually, Kamui is named after that guy from the movie. He was killed by Chun-li, and it is a mystery why he came back to life.
Belldandy: That isn’t such a mystery, actually... *rides into the area on Muro, the wolf goddess from Princess Mononoke*
Cyber Kitty: N-nan ja?! (W-what the?!)
Belldandy: Yes, a temporal rift was caused by the fighting of Armitage and Marie. Many of us have been able to escape from the afterlife. It’s a quicker way than the Dragon Balls...
Kyusaku: Y-you say everyone?! Even the Tuff-father?! *dramatic music*
Sephy: Tuff-father? You mean that wigglytuff from Cinnabar Island? That isn’t good...
Belldandy: However, the rift was mysteriously closed shortly after it opened...
Botan: *the ditzy blue-haired goddess of death flies in on her oar* Uh huh! *smiles, jumps off her oar (that disappears) and falls into Sephy’s arms (forcefully)* Oh... Sephy... *giggles*
Sephy: That’d explain why Armitage was in my closet... Oh wait... Botan! Get off of me!!! *breaks out of her embrace*
Ami-chan: I’ve had just about enough of you, you lech!!! Mercury Star Power!!! *transforms into Sailor Mercury*
Ukyo: If anyone’s going to punish my Seanma, it’ll be me! *whips out her spatula*
Shampoo: Seanma belong to Shampoo!!! *snarls and brings out a boribon*
Nuku Nuku: No!!! I love Sephiroth and no one will take him from me!!!
Sentret: *pops out of a pokéball* Sentret, sen!!! (to get Sephy, you’ll have to fight me!!!)
Kamui: Meeeeeeeeooooowwwrrr!!! (You will feel a thousand deaths before any harm befalls Sephy!!!)
Cyber Kitty: This’s exciting! *hops into Gundam Kitty Zero-One* Finally, a chance to field test my Gundam!
Skuld: *gets up out of the hot spring and walks away* Come on, Mr. Chupon, Mrs. Chupon, we’ll leave Sephiroth to deal with his girlfriends... *Chupon and the snow monkey “Mrs. Chupon” follow her*
Ami-chan: He only has one girlfriend, he’s MINE!!!
Sephiroth: Um... can’t we talk about this?
Ami-chan, Ukyo, Belldandy, Nuku Nuku, Shampoo, Botan, and Yuri: NO! We can’t talk about this!
Sentret: Sen! (I shall defend you a thousand times over, for I am your loyal vassal, Sentret Jenova of Shinra Inc.! No blade will ever touch your skin, nor unwanted girl your lips, for if I fail, I shall commit seppuku on your doorstep, for then I would have disgraced myself eternally.)
Sephy: How did you fit that all into one “Sen?”
Kamui: Meowrr, meoorww meow!!! Ftt... (Fear not, for I, Kamui the Cabbit will deliver your enemies’ heads at your feet! Now then...)
Sephy: *sweat drop* No... that’s quite all right...
Cyber Kitty: *over the intercom* Will someone please do something?!
A bunch of snow monkeys: *making kyooouuute monkey sounds while banging on the Monolith*
Sephy: You kids get away from my Monolith!!!
Snow Monkey King: *actually a huuuuuuuuggggge and fat snow monkey sitting on a large throne* Mochu no kalla kalla, whoh hoh hoh... (Why do you say such mean things to my servants, ha ha ha...)
Sephy: That’s it... *whips out Masamune* Time to...
Kamui and Sentret: *prepare battle stances*
Cyber Kitty: *turns on the thermal dragon claws on his Gundam*
Sephy: ...retreat!!! SMOKE BOMB!!! *throws a smoke bomb and vanishes*
Everyone that’s left: *in unison* What the? Come back here!!!
Kamui: *turns into a starship with Sentret inside, and flies off*
Cyber Kitty: Where could he... ah ha! *spreads out large wings, not unlike Deathscythe, and flies off to the south*
Ukyo: ...He’s headed for Nagasaki...
Ami-chan: ...Tokyo, he’s going there...
Belldandy: ...the shrine in Kyoto...
Snow Monkey King: Gma tulla mulangu Tattoine, whoh hoh hoh... (He’s going to Tattooine, ha ha ha...)
Weird Scary Snow Monkey: *is small and thin* *pops up behind the Snow Monkey King* Wheh, heh, heh!!!

More Conversational Japanese
by Sephiroth
Jan Ken Pon (jahn ken pone): Rock/Paper/Scissors
Tasukete Kudasai! (tahss-kate-tay kuu-dah-sie): Please help me/us!
Issho ni o-furu ni hairimasho-ka? (Ees-show nee uh-fuu-roe nee hie-ree-mah-show-ka): Shall we take a bath together?
Uwokka, kudasai (wu-oh-kah, kuu-dah-sie): Vodka, please.

Closing: Inside spaceship Kamui
Gatomon: *looking at a map of Japan* Where could he have gone too?
Sentret: *with Purin’s translator* I believe he may have fled south. It is possible that he has already made it back to his home, or Cyber Kitty’s apartment.
Kamui: *with another Blasted Seafoam Translator™* Perhaps we have it incorrect and he has fled to Okinawa.
Purin: No, he hates what the American influence has been on it, and said that if he got the chance, it’d be another Nibelhiem.
Sentret: *sweat drop* Hey, I just thought of something... if all these dead people are back...
Gatomon: ...what’s to stop Archmage Shade (Sephiroth’s rival, and former editor of the ANL) from coming back?
Purin: Oh no!!! He’ll star ping me again!!!
Gatomon: That was Sephiroth...
Purin: No, Shade did it too!!! Why am I always being picked on?!

What happened to Sephiroth? Are the Tuff-father and Archmage Shade really back? The worst threats to Purin and Sephiroth are back with a vengeance, and no one knows how this will turn out... And what about all of Sephiroth’s girlfriends? How lucky is this guy, anyway?! I know if I were him, I’d be lapping it up!
Purin: Aha! I knew it was you, Gatomon!
Gatomon: *sweat drop* *behind a microphone with headphones on* Actually, this is my first time...
Purin: Then who are the culprits?!
Gatomon: *shrugs*

Endorsements:
https://anlcrew13.tripod.com/main.html
ANL Tripod Page (archives)

http://kawaiianimegirl.tripod.com/smeared.html
Ami-chan’s really cool page

http://www.anipike.com
The Animé Turnpike, The #1 source on every Animé

http://www.rightstuf.com
Right Stuf On-line Store

http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site

http://www.geocities.com/animenewspage
Zell’s webpage

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