Season 2, Issue 8
Animé News Letter
Season 2, Issue 8
Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Coffee Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent: Ukyo Kounji
Lowly Reporter: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee/Jiggleevee
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: Gatomon
Engineer/Limited Goddess, 2nd class: Skuld
Secret Police: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=
Webmaster/Bounty Hunter: Fuji/Zell
Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The Secretary", Ami-chan, Melancholy, Ranma, Nighteyes, Aly/Mimi/Raisin, Kaitou Ace, Tasuki, Lucifer Morningstar, Neo, Am0s M0ses, Makato/Oddichu, Lain The Typhoon, Mikon/Moko-ohki, Ferio
Subscribers in: Maine 8, California 2, Texas 3, Georgia 2, Colorado 1, NY 1, Florida 1, Missouri 1, Virginia 1
If you know anyone who wants this, contact us at Sephiroth_Gatomon@yahoo.com
Warning: In the spirit of all that is animé, some of these scenes may be seen as lewd and/or violent. We also have a pervert on staff to fill in as an animé archetype. Viewer discretion is advised.
Dear reader,
We’ve got another great issue for you!!! Zell’s submitted an article on Chrono Cross, one of Square Soft’s summer releases. We have Lain The Typhoon’s (formerly known as Napalm) article on Cowboy Bebop and Lain’s more so interesting comments about the DVD release. He broke the system!!! He gave us some silly grade instead of stars!!! I can’t believe it!!! For unintelligent individuals (such as Fuji/Zell), we usually grade out of five stars, except for Lain the Typhoon who must be involved in some sort of underground rebel activity...
-Sephiroth
Review: Cowboy Bebop DVD 1st Session
Written by Lain the Typhoon
Overall Ranking for Cowboy Bebop: A+
Total Running Time: 125 Min (2hr 25min)
Rated: Not Rated (Recommended 14 and up)
Price: $29.99 per DVD (5 Of 6 DVD Released)
Spike Spigel is a bounty hunter who has a very dark past, but he keeps traveling through space
on the ship the Bebop with his partner Jet Black. The action is hot and very cool.
During the 4th episode the two pick up another member of the group, the very hot looking Faye Valentine,
who was going to be the bounty for Spike, but things shifted around. Then she seemingly joined the group,
but against Spike's wishes, but this is only the 1st DVD. Their are 5 other DVD's with even more action,
suspense, and yes, even a bit of comedy. But don't count this series short.
They’re all damn good and worth the money, so if you definitely loved Iria you will flip for this one... literally.
As for the extras, well THEY ROCK.
You get previews for Blue Submarine #6 (which I will Review in a future section), Brain Powered,
Silent Mobius TV Series, and one which I will be getting soon, Outlaw Star!
Also they have a Character Intro for all the main people in the series, which is pretty cool.
The name of this is Cowboy Bebop Session #0 and then they have a FULL, yes you heard me,
FULL VIDEO of the Opening Theme, Tank! Which totally rocks.
And as for the episodes themselves, well... let’s say you won’t be disappointed.
My personal favorite one is Session #4 - Gateway Shuffle, which is on this DVD, and Session #5 is very good as well,
so take my advice, and it’s only 3 words: GET THIS SERIES!!!
Well, that is all for now and I am returning to the Wired.
Next time I will review one of the hottest animes out there since Sailor Moon, in many peoples’ opinions.
Revolutionary Girl Utena! Oh, and if you want to give me some feedback on this subject
you can reach me at napalm@midmaine.com.
Until next time, this is Lain The Typhoon, and I will catch you on the wired!
Game Review: Chrono Cross
Written by Zell/Fuji
Ok, Chrono Cross is the sequel, (though not really related to) Chrono Trigger.
Where Chrono Trigger dealt with time trivial, Chrono Cross deals with two separate worlds that are basically the same but have slight differences.
You travel back and forth between these worlds to right the wrongs in each of them caused by Lynx, a demi-human who is the main villain of the game.
Your character is Serge, a 17-year-old kid from a small village called Arni.
The best thing about the game is the fact that there are so many characters, and different plot twists, meaning that decisions YOU make affect what happens at the end of the game!!
With 40 different characters (there are only about 3 situations where if you choose one character, some become unavailable) so you can get almost all of them!
As a bonus, if you beat the game, you can start a "New Game+" where you start over with all the levels and magic you had in your first game and
have the ability to slow down or speed up time, which helps greatly in certain skill games.
It's definitely worth the money to get it.
BATTLE SQUARE NEO
Sephy: Bienvenue and welcome to another battle at Neo Battle Square!!!
For our first fight, we have Cloud Strife (FFVII) and Squall Lionheart (FFVIII) for a competition to determine who’s the best sexually deprived and quiet poser swordsman!!!
This was a fight suggested by Fujikuro.
Cloud: ... *takes out Buster Edge*
Squall: ... *takes out Gunblade Revolver*
Sephy: *blink, blink* ...I’ve already lost track of who’s who...
Purin: *hits Sephy with a rolled up newspaper* Okay, Squall’s wearing black, Cloud’s wearing blue, Squall has brown hair, Cloud has blon-
Sephy: *kicks him into the higher atmosphere*
Purin: It looks like Team Jiggly’s blasting off again!!! *star ping*
Cyber Kitty: Oh, like THAT’S original...
Cloud: *uses braver on Squall*
Squall: *uses Renzokuken!!! on Cloud*
Sephy: Oh... I love the sound of that attack!!! Renzokuken!!! I can say it all day!!! Renzokuken!!!
Rinoa and Tifa: Hey!!! Leave him alone!!! *rush into the arena*
Rinoa: Leave Squall alone, you, you bully!!!
Tifa: Leave my Cloud alone!!!
Rinoa: Hey!!! It’s YOUR Cloud that’s beating up on MY Squall!!!
Tifa: Oh yeah?! *uses Dolphin Kick on Rinoa*
Rinoa: Angelo, sick ‘er!!! *the dog attacks Tifa*
???: Mini-missile!!! *small missiles attack Angelo, forcing him to retreat* That’s no way to treat a lady!!! *a cat-like figure dressed up in a tuxedo and a mask holding a red rose jumps down from a column*
Sephy: Gatomon?!
???: I know not that name, for I am... Tuxedo Cat!!!
Sephy: *pick up Cyber Kitty* I know it’s not you... Analyze that person...
Cyber Kitty: CYBER KITTY ANALYSIS ENGAGED- Perversion Lv. 100, Attack Lv. 37, Evade 12%. IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED- Gatomon Kisaragi in a tuxedo... Oh come on... Can’t you do better than that?!
Tuxedo Cat: I’ll take these two women to a more suitable location... *jumps down and steals away Rinoa and Tifa*
Rinoa and Tifa: HHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPP!!!
Cloud and Squall: ...
Aeris: Hurray!!! Now I’ve got Cloud all to myself!!!
MewTwo: *thinking this* C’mon Sephiroth, kill Aeris, you did it before, you’ll do it again...
Sephy: *yells out* HIIII MEEEWWWTTTWWWOOOO!!!!
MewTwo: Damn it!!! NOT ME!!! Look... at... Aeris!!! And now, for a snack *pops on off to the lobby*
Aeris: Uh oh... is that...
Cloud: Oh no!!! Aeris is going to recognize Sephiroth and get killed!!!
Aeris: *yells out* HIIII CCCLLLLOOOOOUUUDDD!!!
Sephy: *notices... Cloud and uses his telepathic link* CLOUD. GO TO THE LOBBY AND GET ME A SNACK. *Cloud walks off to the lobby in a zombie gaze*
Kefka: Why, mister Piedmon, isn’t it a lovely day for an opera?
Piedmon: Why, yes, mister Kefka, it is. *looks though opera glasses* Why, isn’t that Aeris? The girl Sephiroth supposedly killed?
Kefka: I do believe you are right. Villains aren’t made like they used to be.
Sephy: *blink* Hey!!! Aeris!!! Long time, eh? My, the last time I saw you was when I ran you through with my Masamune!!! Remember those good ol’ times?
Aeris: *runs off screaming*
Cloud and MewTwo: *returned with snacks* What?! Deja-vu...
Sephy: RENZOKUKEN!!!
Crowd: *sweat drop*
Sephy: For our next fight, it would seem that Cyber Kitty has challenged Artemis and Ryo-ohki to a mecha fight... Mecha, being a word stolen from the British, being huge animé robotic suits of DOOM!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Skuld: *shoots a Ritalin dart in to Sephy’s arm* Aw... shut up!!!
Cyber Kitty: I have chosen the Gundam Deathsythe!!! *jumps into the armor* This’ll make short work out of anyone!!! *brandishes the thermal scythe around*
Duo: Hey!!! That’s MY Gundam!!!
CK: Whatever... *commands Deathsythe to kick Duo into the sky*
Duo: Looks like team Duo’s blasting off again!!! *star ping*
CK: Will someone PLEASE get some original material!!!
Artemis: Here we go!!! *climbs into Escaflowne* This’ll be a piece of cake with this one... *takes out sword*
Ryo-ohki: Meorw!
Sephy: C-c-c-c-cabbit!? AHH!!!
Skuld: I wonder what Hojo is doing...
*over at the Tendo Training Dojo...*
Hojo: *dressed up like Genma* It was the Cabbit-fu training that did all of this...
Akane: Cabbit-fu?!
Hojo: Mmm... free-style-cabbit-fist fighting. Training is deceptively easy... just wrap the trainee from head-to-toe in ninjin, Japanese carrots, and toss him into a pit of starving cabbits...
Seanma: Pop, don’t remind me!!!
Hojo: It was in the spring of Seanma’s sixth year, and here’s the tome of ancient lore that describes this technique...
Tendo: Let me see... Ah!!! Incredible!!! Anything Goes School of Martial Arts: Cabbit-fist!!! Let’s see... ‘wrap the trainee from head-to-toe in ninjin, Japanese carrots, and toss him into a pit of starving cabbits...’
Hojo: You see, the technique’s so simple I knew that there should have been a catch... Turn the page, Tendo, and see for yourself.
Tendo: ‘This technique has been banned for causing severe psychological distress.’
Hojo: Too bad I never read the page... *starts laughing*
*back at the Battle Square Neo complex...*
Ukyo: Can cabbits even pilot mechas?
Skuld: No need... they are their own mecha...
Ryo-ohki: *turns into a pink mecha*
Sephy: *is in a corner shivering...*
CK: I want this done with!!! *fires thermal arm missile at Escaflowne*
Artemis: *blocks it* You’ll have to do better than that!!!
Sephy: *picks up a Pepsi can*
Ukyo: I guess Seanma-honey’s thirsty...
Skuld: More like going to blow up that cabbit...
Ukyo: What?!
Skuld: In Project A-ko, when those Earth space-fighters attack the Alien Starship, one of the Earth’s fighters shoots a Pepsi can that explodes (in a hugs fiery boom) when hitting the starship. You have to pay very close attention to see it...
Sephy: *chucks the Pepsi can, blowing up the cabbit, turning it into a lost disc*
CK: *stands victorious over the crushed Escaflowne* Hey!!! Did everyone see that great battle?
crowd: *shrugs and starts murmuring over what happened with the Pepsi can*
CK: No one?! Aw man...
Sephy: *starts a demented laugh* No more cabbits!!! Ever!!! *continues laughing*
Closing: At Costa De Sol...
Sephy: Last issue of the summer... *puts on sunglasses and relaxes in the sun*
Ukyo: Sephy never takes off his trench coat, not even in this heat. Must be a sign of a true intellect...
Gatomon: Dum-te-dum... *walks over with a LARGE looting sack on his back*
Sephy: *sits up* I don’t even want to know what you were doing...
Cyber Kitty: *is drawing a design for a custom Gundam* I shall call it... Gundam Kitty-1!!!
Sephy: Whatever... fireball... *fireballs Cyber Kitty into the upper atmosphere*
Cyber Kitty: What-did-you-do-that fooooorrrr?! *star ping*
Sephy: *relaxes* That wasn’t very original, either... An Akane Tendo line...
Purin: I WILL SUMMON THE 57 JIGGLYPUFF OF THE APOCALYPSE TO CRUSH YOU ALL!!! BWA, HA, HA... *awkward silence... much like the silence that happens when you’re on the phone with someone you want to talk to, but can’t...*
Everyone else: *sweat drop*
Sephy: *smacks Purin* You’re not allowed to talk anymore...
Fuji: Hey, Sephy, can we talk about my pay, I really need that new dipidon...
Sephy: Oh, look!!! It’s that invincible monster, Zeiram!!!
Fuji: Where?! *turns around*
Sephy: ...smoke bomb... *poof*
Skuld: *thwacks Fuji with her hammer* He’s dead, stupid!!!
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A really cool Sailor Moon site
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