Season 2, Issue 6
Animé News Letter
Season 2, Issue 6
Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Coffee Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent: Ukyo Kounji
Lowly Reporter: Purin/Bryoga/Eevee
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: Gatomon
Coffee Wench/Unlimited Goddess, 1st class: Belldandy
Secret Police: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=
Webmaster/Bounty Hunter: Fuji/Ashitaka
Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The Secretary", Ami-chan,
Melancholy, Ranma, Nighteyes, Aly/Mimi, Kaitou Ace, Tasuki, Lucifer Morningstar, Neo, Am0s M0ses,
Makato/Pikachu, Napalm, Mikon, Ferio, and Hojo
Subscribers in: Maine 8, California 2, Texas 3, Georgia 2, Colorado 1, NY 1, Florida 1, Missouri 1, Virginia 1
If you know anyone who wants this, contact us at Sephiroth_Gatomon@yahoo.com
Warning: In the spirit of all that is animé, some of these scenes may be seen as lewd and/or violent.
We also have a pervert on staff to fill in as an animé archetype. Viewer discretion is advised.
Dear Reader,
It’s been awhile since the last issue, and most likely most (if not all of you)
thought that we had discontinued the ANL. As to the Animé Awards Night, that should be out later today.
We would also like to welcome Makato/Pikachu, Napalm, Mikon, and Ferio to the subscriber list!!!
Now... I have to let Purin out of a locked closet to assist typing up the review of Pokémon the Movie 2000...
- Sephiroth
Movie Review: Pokémon - Revelation Lugia / The Power of One
Written by Purin and Sephiroth
Purin: ***** (would be six... but Ash didn’t die) Sephy: ***
Once again, the world is sent into a downward spiral, leaving Ash and Pikachu to save the world.
This time, they have two speaking pokémon, Lugia and Slowking (psychic pokémon from Gold/Silver), to
assist them. Slowking turns out to be useless as he only tells Ash the most obvious things, such as:
‘You’re missing one of the orbs that will stop Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres from fighting.’
As to Lugia, he turns out to be more helpful as he keeps attacking the three legendary birds in near
kamikaze attacks and generally protecting Ash. So, why are the three legendary birds destroying the world?
Well, this collector (Lawrence III) got an Ancient Mew card a long time ago which inspired him to attack
the three legendary birds to summon Lugia.
Mini-review: Pikachu’s Rescue Adventure
An overall trippy adventure as Togepi falls down a hole and the heroic pokémon fall down after him.
This was more of an excuse to show off some new pokémon, such as Bellossom (an alternative evolution of gloom,
Japanese name: Kereihana), the flower pokémon that does a very, very weird dance. This trapped us between
deciding if it was a psychedelic daydream or some horrible horror from across the seas.
CCG review: Sailor Moon
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: ***** Gatomon: ** (needed up skirts) Belldandy: ****
An overall fun game from the Guardians of Order.
The basis of the game includes sending out a Level 1 Sailor Scout/Knight and a 1 victory point monster and
attacking each other in an orderly sort of way while playing rock/paper/scissors to decide random elements
of the game (as depicted on the cards). Through out the game, you can power up your Scouts/Knights to higher
levels and turn your monsters into powerful villains. Unfortunately, it is an American game and appears to
only reach the point in the series where Sailor Pluto (a rare holofoil card in this game) appears, and
lacks in some appeal to the people who have a great wealth of knowledge of the Japanese series.
The rules are not too complicated and can be learned in no time.
Trust us, it’s a lot more fun (and makes more sense) if you learn the rules first.
BATTLE SQUARE
Sephy: After leaving the Pokémon 2000 movie, a large argument broke out as to who was stronger, Lugia or Mewtwo (last year’s super movie pokémon).
So, we’ve gathered the two and engaged them in a fight right here in our very own Battle Square!!! Being a pokémon battle, Purin will be the Referee.
Purin: In this corner (or... floating above it)... Lugia!!!
Lugia: I will not fail!!!
Purin: ...and in this corner... finishing his pika-cabob, Mewtwo!!!
Mewtwo: *munch, munch* I am the world’s strongest pokémon!!!
Purin: ...and remember, no low blows or I’ll use your weakness against you.
Mewtwo: GRAAAHHH!!! *gizzard punches Lugia*
Purin: THAT’S IT!!! I SAID NO LOW PUNCHES!!! TWIN NEEDLE!!! *both Mewtwo and Lugia fight off the needles*
Sephy: ...you’re not allowed to fight in this... *uppercuts Purin to the upper atmosphere*
Purin: Look’s like Team Jiggly’s blasting off again!!! *star ping*
Lugia: How about this? *thunderbolts Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: *blocks the attack* Hmph... not bad... TRY THIS!!! *fire blasts Lugia (via Blaine’s TM)*
Lugia: *quickly avoids the flames* SKY ATTACK!!! *charges through Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: *falls back* I’m not impressed... *swirls up a blizzard*
Lugia: *is quickly chilled* Brrr... well, *spits* We’re well matched...
Purin: AHHHH!!!!! *falls on both Lugia and Mewtwo, knocking them both out*
Ash: Pokéball... go!!! *attempts to throw pokéballs*
Sephy: *slashes apart the pokéballs, picks up Ash and throws him out of Battle Square* Read the sign!!! *points to the sign: NO CATCHING POKéMON ALLOWED!!!*
Um... that wraps up another battle square... I guess Purin’s the winner... *turns away* No way... out of Lugia and Mewtwo... Purin’s the strongest?
Purin: *in a Mewtwo voice* Now... I claim my prize... your pokémon!!! *makes some nifty black pokéballs appear*
Sephy: NO!!! NOT ALLOWED!!! *tosses Purin out of ring* Come on... shower time for you two... *throws Mewtwo and Lugia over his shoulder* Ugh!!!
Time for you two to go on a diet... Strongest pokémon indeed...
Time for the ASPCA?
by Belldandy
After long hours of playing and watching Digimon, Monster Rancher, and Pokémon, I noticed some
important things... First, why do these trainers abuse their pets? They seem to make them do all sorts of
heavy labor and then set them against each other in fights to decide which trainer is the best,
usually seriously hurting their pets and leaving them with their jaws dropped open wondering why the pets
couldn’t cut it. At least Digimon is semi justified since the ‘computer generated beasts’ give their consent
and the trainers’ lives are actually endangered and the pets rise up to save their masters from dying.
Monster Rancher has a similar plot of the trainers being put in danger and the pets trying to save them, and
the trainers even fight side-by-side with their pets. As to Pokémon, what justification do those trainers have?
Ash only wants to be the best trainer and frequently endangers his Pokémon’s lives in horrible battles to make himself look impressive.
Yes, Ash has actually saved the world twice (watch the two movies), but that still doesn’t excuse his constant misuse of pokémon.
What I am saying is this: Imprison Ash for his heinous crimes against his Pokémon and de-brainwash Pikachu!!!
Closing: Northern Crater watching the sunset...
Sephy: Ah... ‘tis a thing of beauty, this never ending sea of fireworks that graces us with its beauty but twice a day...
Ukyo: Here he goes again with the poetry... *shakes head*
Belldandy: Oh, while we’re here, I would like to mention that we are going to send out an annual survey of how/what the ANL is doing to all the readers.
Sephy: Alas, but to sing a song of this beauty is to cause but degeneration to the infinitesimal loveliness of a certain lass...
Belldandy and Ukyo: Ooooo... are you talking about me?
Sephy: Shimatta!!! ...smoke bomb... *poof*
Gatomon: Tsk, tsk, tsk... running away from two lovely gi-
Bell and Ukyo: Curl up and die old letch!!! *uppercuts Gatomon to orbit*
Gatomon: Woah-oh!!! *star ping*
Eevee: Eeeeeeeevveeee!!! *laughs*
Belldandy: Oh... the Animé Awards Night will be sent out immediately after this... *looks annoyed* I’ll get you yet, Sephiroth...
Ukyo: Not if I get my Seanma first... Gr...
Belldandy: Gr...
*sun sets and the night comes...*
Endorsements:
http://www.anipike.com
The Animé Turnpike, The #1 source on every Animé
http://www.pythonline.com
Monty Python On-line
The Right Stuf Catalog
A great catalog to find animé in (to order a catalog, pay $3 by calling 1-800-338-6827)
on the web at http://www.rightstuf.com
http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site
http://www.geocities.com/animenewsletter
ANL home page
Disclaimer:
We do not own anything, it all belongs to a whole bunch of other people, a very long list,
so we’re not going to try. We apologize if anyone is deeply offended by our views, and
if you are easily offended by stuff like this, we would suggest unsubscribing and/or moving to Pluto.
If you'd like to contribute anything, unsubscribe (but... why?),
or have a friend who wants this, contact us at sephiroth_gatomon@yahoo.com
