Anime News Letter Season 2

Season 2, Issue 4

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Coffee Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent: Ukyo Kounji
Lowly Reporter: Purin/Bryoga
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: Gatomon
Coffee Wench/Unlimited Goddess, 1st class: Belldandy
Secret Police: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=

Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The Secretary", Fujikuro/Ashitaka (advertiser for ANL), Ami-chan, Melancholy, Ranma, Nighteyes, Aly/Mimi, Ashira, Kaitou Ace, Tasuki, Lucifer Morningstar, Neo, Am0s M0ses, and Hojo
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If you know anyone who wants this, contact us at Sephiroth_Gatomon@yahoo.com

Warning: In the spirit of all that is animé, some of these scenes may be seen as lewd and/or violent. We also have a pervert on staff to fill in as an animé archetype. Viewer discretion is advised.

Dear Readers,
      Another issue, thought it wouldn’t come, did you? Well, off recruiting, we’ve fetched Lucifer Morningstar (aka Otaku22), Neo (infamous Pokémon card master), Am0s M0ses (some computer guy), and Hojo (Sephy’s dad and the head flow cytometrist of the Jackson Lab). In this issue, we have a few decent reviews, two battle squares, and some ideas for theme decks in the Pokémon CCG.
- Sephiroth

Animé review: Dirty Pair Flash (Mission 2)
Written by Gatomon
Sephy: *****   Gato: **** (and two more just for Yuri...)
A decent non-shojo animé filled to the brim with girls, guns, and explosives. The two main characters are named Yuri (a purple haired babe with a lightsaber rip-off) and Kei (a way too aggressive chick with some weird growth for hair, and she uses an ‘arm cannon’), two trouble consultants for the space-age organization WWWA. Even though this is a sci-fi flick with swords made out of light, this is NOT Star Wars. Now, I first thought that WWWA stood for the Willy Wonka Watching Association, but it apparently has nothing to do with Oompaloompas. Actually, we have no idea except that everyone is a trouble consultant. The two foxy dames are out protecting a computer geek who’s trying to fix this large amusement park that has living exhibits of what life was like in the 1990s Tokyo region. In fact, most of the employees live the life of those people all the way back in the 1990s. Why protect this dork? Well, assassins are watching his every move and even though there was only one of ‘em, he was pretty tricky. Well, after the Lovely Angels (Yuri and Kei, also called the Dirty Pair) kill that guy, they get into more mischief as the story leads them into an all girls school, and then... This is one not to miss; I would suggest that everyone watches this today, especially the subbed version for some delightful ironies in episode four.

Animé Review: Ruin Explorers
Written by Sephiroth
Sephy: ****   Purin: *****   Gato: ***
This is a fantasy epic that has two sorceresses searching for the ‘Ultimate Power’ and they wind up buying a treasure map from a con artist of a merchant. What is this Ultimate Power? Apparently, this old king performed a magical ceremony to bring peace to his kingdom. Unfortunately, the evil of the magic got into him and he sealed himself and the magic up in this tower in the desert. As for the two ruin explorers, they are Fam and Erie. Fam is an adorable cat girl who’s a wiggan or wiccan or something. She uses all the magic by telling her spirit friends what to do. Of course, if she told them to do something bad, the spirits wouldn’t like her anymore and would stop talking to her, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we? As for Erie, she has some kind of curse on her and won’t use magic and is constantly mistaken for a boy... Strange. This is a very good series full of magical highjinks, explosive violence, magical puppets (or muppets), and brief nudity. It is a great epic for anyone interested in fantasy and a must see for all Slayers fans.

BATTLE SQUARE
Sephy: Welcome to another battle square. First off, we have an epic battle between Lina the flower shop girl from Dirty Pair Flash and Aeris the flower girl from FFVII. Aeris? Have I heard this name before? *pontificates*
Gatomon: Oh no!!! I must stop this bloodshed!!! Sephy’ll kill Aeris... again!!! But first, a snack... *walks off to the lobby*
Lina: Uh, hi. What am I supposed to do here? *looks confused*
Aeris: I don’t know, but I think they want us to fight...
Lina: So, a dirty old lecher set this fight up?
Aeris: Why do you say that?
Lina: *blushes* Never mind...
Sephy: Hee, hee... so Freudian... Hey wait... is that...
Mewtwo: *thinking this* C’mon Sephiroth, kill Aeris, you did it before, you’ll do it again...
Sephy: *yells out* HIIII MEEEWWWTTTWWWOOOO!!!!
Mewtwo: Damn it!!! NOT ME!!! Look... at... Aeris!!! And now, for a snack *pops on off to the lobby*
Aeris: Uh oh... is that...
Cloud: Oh no!!! Aeris is going to recognize Sephiroth and get killed!!!
Aeris: *yells out* HIIII CCCLLLLOOOOOUUUDDD!!!
Sephy: *notices... Cloud and uses his telepathic link* CLOUD. GO TO THE LOBBY AND GET MESELF A SNACK. *Cloud walks off to the lobby in a zombie gaze*
Kefka: Why, mister Piedmon, isn’t it a lovely day for an opera?
Piedmon: Why, yes, mister Kefka, it is. *looks though opera glasses* Why, isn’t that Aeris? The girl Sephiroth supposedly killed?
Kefka: I do believe you are right. Villains aren’t made like they used to be.
Sephy: *blink* Hey!!! Aeris!!! Long time, eh? My, the last time I saw you was when I ran you through with my Masamune!!! Remember those good ol’ times?
Aeris: *runs off screaming*
Sephy: And the winner by default is Lina!!! Grr... next time, it’ll be a match where there will be fighting!!! *Mewtwo, Gatomon, and Cloud returned with delightful snacks from Ukyo’s Okonomiyaki Snack Bar, mmm...*
Cloud, Mewtwo, and Gatomon: What happened?! *are shocked*

Sephy: This next fight is between Yuri (from Dirty Pair Flash) and Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) to see who’s the best with a lightsaber. *Yuri walks in with her li’l laser sword.* Luke? Is Luke Skywalker in the Arena? Hello!!! This isn’t funny!!! *sighs out a mushroom breath*
Purin: BWA HA HA!!! Star Wars is NOT animé!!! It’s American live action, the furthest thing away from Japanese Animé!!!
Sephy: I was prepared for this... Copycat Ken, it’s time for your debut!!!
Ken: *walks out looking like an animé Jedi Knight, complete with lightsaber* Hmph, Sephiroth and Gatomon forced me to watch all kinds of Star Wars movies and copy all of their moves.
Genma: Oh no!!! Not the dreaded Copycat Ken!!!
Purin: PANDA TIME!!! *turns Genma into a panda by splashing cold water on him* Who’s Copycat Ken? *Genma holds up a sign in kanji* Can’t... read... Sephy... help me!!!
Sephy: Copycat Ken is a character from Ranma 1/2 who copies his opponent’s moves by taking pictures of them.
Ken: That’s right, prepare to lose!!! *dashes at Yuri*
Yuri: *screams and blocks the blow* How dare you try to hurt a defenseless girl like myself?
Ken: *turns back in to his original form, wearing green trousers, a red shirt, and a bandana over his whole head* Well, how about this... *pulls out a camera* Say cheese!!! *takes a picture as Yuri strikes a pose* Now, how about this? *turns into Yuri*
Yuri: Wow, I really am beautiful!!!
Sephy: Gatomon, what do you think about this fight?
Gatomon: *reads a government issued card* I have no, no off-- What’s this? Official comment on this match since I am a dirty y, y-- Damn it, I can hardly read this!!! ...young man.
Sephy: Riiiiggggghhhtttt. *the two Yuris are clashing swords in a furious battle*
Yuri (?): I grow weary of this... *calms herself* HIRYU SHOTEN HA!!! *the whirlwind carries the other Yuri off, throwing her out of the arena*
Gatomon: So... Copycat Ken wins...
Sephy: Actually, that’s Yuri.
Gatomon: What?!
Sephy: I taught her that attack before she entered the arena...
Gatomon: *sweat drop*
Yuri: Luv ya Sephy-honey!!!
Ukyo & Belldandy: *fire eyes*
Sephy: *gulp* SMOKE BOMB!!! *poof*
Genma: *splashes himself with warm water* A copy’s a copy, but the real thing’s authentic.

Gato Note: Actually, there is Star Wars manga out on the market, but the truth is that Sephy made a bar bet with Kei boasting that Yuri could whop Copycat Ken. Being our dear editor, he forgot to bet anything. Congratulations, you’ve won... N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!

Blue Magic - “Hiryu Shoten Ha”
Written by Sephiroth
This is a new section containing special techniques that various animé characters utilize. This week, we’re taking a look at Ranma Saotome’s (from Ranma 1/2) technique “Hiryu Shoten Ha,” or “Heavenly Dragon Ascension Wave.” This attack was taught to Ranma by Cologne when Ranma was weak due to Master Happosai utilizing a secret pressure point that more or less rendered Ranma a weakling. The secret is mixing the heat of your opponents furious ki (also called chi, also called a battle aura) and your coolness of a true warrior’s heart. In other words, you have to keep your cool in battle and get your opponent as mad as possible. When the two ki are mixed, the resulting dragon (which is more like a whirlwind) pummels your foe to near destruction. This technique tends to be a favorite of mine and it also gets used quite a lot in the Battle Square. This is obviously a wind elemental attack and NOT a dragon elemental. The so-called element “dragon” was just a type (and NOT an element) in the Pokémon games. Sorry Dratini, no Hiryu Shoten Ha for you!!!

Theme Decks for the POKéMON CCG
Written by Belldandy
Purin showed me this delightful game called the Pokémon Collectible Card Game and after careful research, I came up with some delightful ideas for some theme decks.
Dragon Tamer Deck: You too can be like Lance!!! All you need are some magikarp, gyrados, dratini, dragonair, dragonite, mysterious fossil, and a few aerodactyl. Of course, you can always add a few dark versions of the dragonair, gyrados, and dragonite for fun. I would definitely suggest using the Team Rocket version of magikarp due to the evolving attack for three water energy. Also, 20-25 water energy is more than enough for this deck. After you add in all of that, you still should have room for some trainer cards such as the ever-useful pokéball.
Safari Zone Deck: Now, every pokémaster has had at least one visit to the safari zone. Dark pokémon simply don’t fit into this deck since there are only wild pokémon and no meanly raised ones. Grass is a key here, and add plenty of venonats, venomoths, scyther, pinsir, nidoran (m and f), nidorino, nidorina, and exeggcute. You won’t see many evolutions since this deck is based on what you find in the safari zone. Normal types are also common and one should consider adding doduo, dodrio, chansey, tauros, and kangaskhan. This is for the basic deck. For the advanced deck, it is good to add cubone, rhydon, and rhyhorn. In expedition throughout the wilds of the safari zone, the pokémaster knows that they’ll need plenty of pokéballs, potions, and other equipment. It is also very demanded to use a snooty British accent when using this deck.
I hope you have fun with these deck ideas!!! Also, these decks are more built to have fun than to win, but the dragon deck is powerful with its evolutions and I’m surprised no one thought of that earlier.

Closing (Belldandy’s temple)
Sephy: Mmm... rice... *eats some*
Purin: Gee Sephy, you eat a lot...
Sephy: What? *narrows eyes*
Purin: Eat and sleep... That’s all you ever do. You should hand over the News Letter to someone more capable, like Fujikuro and myself.
Sephy: Over my dead body... *uppercuts Purin, sending him through the roof and into the higher strata*
Purin: Team Jiggly’s blasting off again!!! *star bings out*
Gatomon: You’re sad, Sephiroth...
Sephy: *brings out a paper bag and throws catnip into it. Gatomon promptly jumps in* And you’re one to talk? *ties the top of the paper bag*
ASPCA agent: *walks in* Agent Smith of the ASPCA. We saw what you did to that cat, come with me. *grabs Sephiroth*
Sephy: No, no!!! I’m innocent!!! He was coming right for me!!! It was self defense!!!
Agent Smith: That’s what they all say. *drags Sephiroth off*
Ukyo: *blinks* So, Belldandy, how was your day?
Bell: *is engrossed with a binder of Pokémon cards*
Ukyo: Well... the Animé Awards Night is almost finished, we’re just waiting for Ranma to type something up.
Cyber Kitty: *eats some sushi* Yum! Thank you, Ukyo!!!
Ukyo: Like owner, like pet, as they used to say.

Endorsements:
http://www.anipike.com
The Animé Turnpike, The #1 source on every Animé

http://www.pythonline.com
Monty Python On-line

The Right Stuf Catalog
A great catalog to find animé in (to order a catalog, pay $3 by calling 1-800-338-6827) on the web at http://www.rightstuf.com

http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site

Disclaimer:
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If you'd like to contribute anything, unsubscribe (but... why?), or have a friend who wants this, contact us at sephiroth_gatomon@yahoo.com