Anime News Letter Season 2

Season 2, Issue 3

Animé News Letter
Season 2, Issue 3

Editor/Reviews/Battle Square: Sephiroth/Seanma
Coffee Wench/Rumiko Takahashi Correspondent: Ukyo Kounji
Lowly Reporter: Purin/Bryoga
Article Writer/Asst. Editor: Gatomon
Coffee Wench/Unlimited Goddess, 1st class: Belldandy
Secret Police: Cyber Kitty/=^o^=

Sent to: Erika Lt./Lum/Ifurita, Jake, Mr. Saotoby, Happodan/Dr. Tofu, "The Secretary", Fujikuro/Ashitaka (advertiser for ANL), Ami-chan, Melancholy, Ranma, Nighteyes (puppy), Aly/Mimi, Ashira, Kaitou Ace, and Tasuki
Subscribers in: Maine 6, California 2, Texas 2, Georgia 1, Colorado 1, NY 1, Florida 1

If you know anyone who wants this, contact us at Sephiroth_Gatomon@yahoo.com

Dear Readers,
      Let’s all welcome Belldandy to the ANL!!! She will be the coffee wench, and... Wait... *counts all his coffee wenches* I have two coffee wenches and yet... I don’t drink coffee. Who should I keep, who should I keep? ...well, let’s take it to the Battle Square (meets my quota for the issue, too)!!! What else do we have? We have a review of Oh My Goddess and Princess Mononoke, the animé movie that was circling around theaters in the USA. Also, visit the website for this newsletter at http://www.maxpages.com/animenews. We want people to check out our site!!! No articles today *sigh*... Well, I’ll just wing it then!!!
- Sephiroth

Review for Princess Mononoke (written by the ANL staff and Fujikuro)
Sephy: *******   Purin: *******   Fujikuro: ******   Gatomon: ******   Ukyo: *****   Belldandy: *******
*sniff, sniff...* This is the best film ever! Based on a Shinto myth, Princess Mononoke is about forest spirits fighting against a women dominated town that produces rifles. The main character, Prince Ashitaka (meaning ‘Hawk Leg’), is a guy who killed this demon boar god who was attacking his remote and isolated village. The problem? The boar put a curse on Ashitaka forcing him to leave the village. In search of the cure, he runs into the Princess Mononoke, who happens to work with the forest spirits. She is a girl named San (meaning ‘Honorable one’) who was raised by wolves, to be more exact, the wolf goddess Mura. This, however, is NOT the Jungle Book. With sketchy romantic parts and a great story line that got everyone speculating, this is definitely a film not to miss, despite that it is not in a lot of theaters anymore. Also, it had great voice actors, including that chick from the X-files!

Oh My Goddess! (written by Sephiroth and Fujikuro)
Sephy: *****   Fujikuro: ****
Oh My Goddess is about an underclassman, Keiichi Morisato, who happens to get all the bad jobs, including watching the telephone all day. One day, when his senpai (meaning upperclassmen) were out, Keiichi grew hungry and searched the confines of the dorm and found no food. Grabbing the nearest telephone book, he proceeds in dialing up every delivery place in town, to no avail. Eventually, he dials a wrong number, a number that summons up the goddess Belldandy. Keiichi soon finds out that he can wish for anything from her, and he thought this was a joke played on him by his senpai since Keiichi can’t get a girlfriend, so he wishes for Belldandy to become his girlfriend forever. This comes true, he’s stuck with a girlfriend that came from who-knows-where, and he gets kicked out for having a girl in the dormitory. A decent romance that draws the fantasy and shojo crowd alike, Oh My Goddess is the fantasy-romance to end all fantasy-romances.

BATTLE SQUARE
Gatomon: *is putting nail polish on, looks effeminate* Welcome to another battle square! Sephy is letting me do this today and we are bringing you the fight between Ukyo Kounji and Belldandy, our coffee wenches who bring us coffee anytime we want it! *Belldandy and Ukyo are ready with two coffee pots*
Sephy: Yuck! I HATE coffee!!!
Purin: *is rattling a coffee cup* HELLO! I want some coffee!
Gatomon: Prepare to... serve? *Belldandy is baking (?) a cake with her powers and Ukyo is making Okonomiyaki*
Sephy: FOOD!!!
Ukyo: Hmph! Seanma-honey was my boss first!!! *throws a throwing spatula at Belldandy*
Belldandy: *deflects spatula* I’m sorry, but he did wish for me to be his girlfriend forever.
Sephy: *sweat drop* W-well... I thought it was a joke played by my senpai (used in this case as ‘upper class-man’) Joshu and he happened to be following the Oh My Goddess story line, since he knows I can’t get a girlfriend! H-honest! I swear!
Gatomon: Yeah! Like he watches Oh My Goddess, give us some credit, Sephy-sama! Plus, Seph-chan, ya not short...
Sephy: NO! It could’ve been a joke, it could’ve!!!
Purin: But it wasn’t, now was it?
Sephy: Shut up! *takes out a rocket launcher and shoots at Purin*
Purin: *is blasted to the upper most atmosphere* Looks like team Jiggly’s blasting off again!!! *star fade with a bing*
Ukyo: *is pulling Belldandy’s hair* Take that you b----!!!
Cyber Kitty: *small li’l kitty walks into the arena* CYBER KITTY ACTIVATED. NO VULGARITY ALLOWED.
Belldandy: Huh? *continues to scratch Ukyo*
Gatomon: That’s Cyber Kitty, Sephiroth’s pet and my second cousin. Gee... two lovely ladies fighting each other in a cat fight... I bet Happosai or Ataru would love to be here... *starts to glow with a red aura*
Sephy: ???
Cyber Kitty: ANALYSIS ACTIVATED- An aura of perversion is surrounding Gatomon. ??? Wait, Gatomon is a female...
Gatomon: *is now dressed like Happosai, complete with a bra on its (?) head* Ho, ho!!! Am I female? NO! Now, now... what do we have here? Two lovely young girls? *jumps into ring*
Sephy: ...
Cyber Kitty: No... Lord Sephiroth, what is...
Sephy: Well, err...
Gatomon: My, my, now what do we have here? *jumps at the Coffee Wenches* Show me service with a smile!!!
Ukyo and Belldandy: Curl up and die, old man!!! *uppercut him to the same place Purin had departed to*
Sephy: *blink* Well, err... uh... Let’s call it a draw.
Cyber Kitty: It’s just a flesh wound.
Sephy: *kicks Cyber Kitty up into the sky as well* *mumbles-* Let’s not quote that movie in my Battle Square, please...

Personal Commentaries on Princess Mononoke
Sephiroth (random observations)
I loved it!!! Now for my sketchy realizations... First, Ashitaka is in love with San, there were too many scenes where he almost said it but didn’t. Second, the Lady ruler of Iron Town was possessed by a lesser-demon of greed where as Ashitaka was possessed by the demon boar god of fury and San was possessed by a forest wolf spirit. Iron Town has a clan of ninja due to one actually being in a ninja’s clothes (which are indeed hard to find in feudal Japan), and since a ninja clan will always band together in a town, it is pure logic that there are several ninja in Iron Town. Leper make good soldiers if you treat them nice and if they’re mostly in one piece, and if not, you can always graft a rifle into their arms ;). Also, all those brothel girls were whores at one time in their life, and now, Uc-chan and Bell-chan are shooting me dirty looks, so... *WHACK, SMASH!!!*
Belldandy (on gods, demons, and spirits)
I remember Mura from goddess school in Yggdrasil. She’s a wolf goddess with a nasty attitude who enjoys eating people. I am quite amazed that she actually took in the abandoned San as an infant and raised her. The kudomo or kodomo or however you spell it were so kawaii (meaning ‘cute’)!!! Those spinning and clicking heads and big smily faces!!! Oh... they are so cute!!! If they started to sell those, they would be bigger than beanie babies!!! Kawaii!!!
Ukyo (weapons)
What f---ing time period was it supposed to be?! The weapons and clothing were distinctly middle dynasty and yet they had rifles and bombs?! WTF!? (Sephy: actually, if you had studied your history, my dear Uc-chan, you would realize that China had gun powder way before anyone else, so they got it from there. Tsk,tsk, tsk...) *is red in the face* The long katana added a nice touch of samurai fighting styles to the movie. San’s fighting style was more like a ninja’s, Ashitaka (or rather the demon) fought like a demon, that nasty monk who said that the soup tasted like “Super Donkey Piss” used various martial arts, and the rest were obviously trained as samurai or gunman.

Closing: At Belldandy’s Shinto Temple
Sephy: *is eating a cookie* Mmm... I like cookies!!!
Ukyo: Then why do you give them to your friends at school?
Belldandy: Seph-chan’s just a nice guy, that’s all.
Sephy: *tips back some green tea* So, umm, Belldandy, how’s the polls going?
Belldandy: We’re piecing together the ballet soon and we’ll send it out by this Saturday.
Sephy: Excellent. Ukyo, where are our other staff members?
Ukyo: In the higher strata.
Sephy: ...
Ukyo: Don’t you remember?!
Sephy: *absolutely blank look*
Ukyo: You shot two of them there yourself!!!
Sephy: *in between bites of rice* Oh, yeah, I remember...
Belldandy: Hm... *snuggles up to Sephy*
Sephy: *sweat drop* Maybe it was Moretsuto-senpai!!! You know, Fujikuro’s brother!!! He set up this trick!!! I know that it was my sempai!!! Or, or maybe even Ashira!!! Or Nighteyes, he wants to get even with me!!! *eye starts to twitch*
Ukyo: Oh, give it up!!! *walks out in a puff*
Sephy: W-wait!!! Don’t leave me all alone with... HELP!!!

Endorsements:
http://www.anipike.com
The Animé Turnpike, The #1 source on every Animé

http://www.pythonline.com
Monty Python On-line

The Right Stuf Catalog
A great catalog to find animé in (to order a catalog, pay $3 by calling 1-800-338-6827) on the web at http://www.rightstuf.com

http://www.tuxedomask.com
A really cool Sailor Moon site

Disclaimer:
We do not own anything, it all belongs to a whole bunch of other people, a very long list, so we’re not going to try. We apologize if anyone is deeply offended by our views, and if you are easily offended by stuff like this, we would suggest unsubscribing and/or moving to Pluto.

If you'd like to contribute anything, unsubscribe (but... why?), or have a friend who wants this, contact us at sephiroth_gatomon@yahoo.com